30 February, 0069: What issue could an Ohio Subway beggar urge LA Galaxy to play for in the prestigious Champions League on 7 November at Madrid? The answer, as our reporters have reported is equally breathtaking as it is startling.
Thriller writers have already started plotting up story outlines after learning what our reporters had to say regarding the issue. The beggar said that he has already foreseen an alien attack on Earth, which he believed could be only be stopped be allowing Football Star Debit Zilla to play for his rival team Laser Angel Galaxy at his homeland’s capital on a date which is equal to his jersey number in the World’s most prestigious football league ‘Champion’s League’. He said that this soccer fixture would create an unlikely event of alteration of gravitational strength of Earth’s Gravitational field that will lead to misguiding the aliens towards the sun and enjoy watching them grill in the literal solar cooker! This incident gives us hope that nothing is impossible and virtually anything is possible, including an unlikely phenomenon as unlikely as this!