30 February, 0147: Saving electricity is fundamental to ensure the sustained weight of your purse. So here is our earnest attempt to elongate the shelf life of your notes and bills. Follow what follows and your Net Worth will be appreciably given an unavoidable stimulus to increase the number of lagging zeroes behind the figure.
- Sleep in Fridge: Buying an AC is OK. Buying a fridge is OK. Paying the electricity bills for both SIMULTANEOUSLY is surely not OK. So for the sake of your status you can buy both, but for the sake of your bankruptcy status you should use either. Though placing the food items in an AC room is tempting, sleeping in a fridge is, by far, ADVENTUROUS.
- Convert your FAN into Generator: Simple. Your fan is run by a motor which is run by electricity. Use its mechanical rotational energy to turn an axle of a generator and feedback the electricity produced to the fan itself. Too bad, you cannot run the fan by the electricity it generates (blame the Second law of Thermodynamics for that) but you can surely cut down on the electricity consumption.
- Don’t Watch TV: Just don’t. Please.
- Steal the Sun: And you will have enough electricity for the next 5 Billion years. Just buy enough solar panels that will surround the entire solar surface area, or else you might just get a tan without even going to the beach.
- Attach a steam turbine proximal to Gluteus Maximus: Given the fact that children read our newspaper, we won’t elaborate on this one.
- Use your Anger: If you are angry on your boss or government, just use the amount of heat produced in the swearings and cursings in heating your food. Also anger is contagious, so stay ready with a bowl of food, for the first domino to topple. Make electrifying comments and use it to charge your mobile phone.
- Read Antarctica Daily: This way you’ll be able to read the post you are already reading and learn methods to save electricity.
- Buy Torpedos: These are chondrichthyes fishes which generate electricity and then you figure out a way to charge your laptop with these things.
- Work longer in your office: That way you will use less domestic electricity and pay less demanding bills.
- Migrate to a town with no electricity: This is clearly the best trick. Your electricity bill will plummet down to zero instantaneously!
These were voted to be the best methods by the scientists all over the Universe.