One Man, Two Places, Three Times

24 February 2018

I think it happened again. This would be the third time! I saw him driving my Black Toyota. I was sitting in the backseat and was momentarily distracted by a gleaming Porsche across the street. And I saw him driving that car too! I looked back and here he was driving my car. I looked away and there he was driving what I wished, were my car.

Two hours back, it had happened for the first time. I was calling him up to drive me to the airport. Over the phone, I heard him say I’ll be there soon, and one second later, he was ringing my doorbell. I know it was him because I could see him from the CCTV Camera we had recently installed at our doorstep, to stop the trespassing mosquitoes. But that isn’t the weird part. The strange thing happened when he crossed me in a hurry on my route towards the door, and asked me to get ready fast as he’ll answer the door. It struck me only after the door was answered that he could not have possibly let himself in but by then, I could see only one of him.

The second time this happened, it was worse. This was half an hour before the third encounter. We had stopped at a roadside KFC for some food. I asked him to buy some hamburgers for me. He complied and on his way to KFC, collided with a man carrying a food packet. I saw him apologise and walk back towards my car to hand me over the burgers before climbing back in and starting the engine. Then I saw him walk into the KFC, only a second before we cruised away in our car.

Now I am on an international flight. Boarding procedures have almost obliterated the double trouble from my mind. I relaxed upon the airplane seat and read through the newspaper. It was then that I read it…

Black coloured Toyota suffers the ‘Worst Accident Ever’

The Passenger is dead but the driver escapes in perfect health

Then I saw my body, lying peacefully in 2 severed pieces, soaked in blood and he was shedding tears of loss, in a photograph accompanying the newspaper report. “That poor man looks just like you”, he observed from the seat beside me.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Editor-in-chief

Antarctica Daily

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Cycles must have Seat Belts, warns Transport Corporation(TC)

30 February, 0067: The verdict has been passed. Anyone seen not wearing seatbelts on their cycles will be prosecuted.

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The Yellow Seat belts

With a phenomenal increase in the number of accidents in the last decade, the TC passed the basic safety law prohibiting use of helmets and promoting use of Sea Belts. From now on every cycle and bike would have their seats tied to the handles by plastic seat belts. This would not only ensure safety, but will also result in utter hindrance of cyclic enthusiasm in cyclists compelling them to either relocate slower than snail or abandon the very practice and helpful habit of cycling.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com

Mango tree mysteriously bears bitter gourds after local people forcibly cut away some of its branches

30 February, 0065: Nature has been angered and here are the consequences. No more mango its just bitter gourd.

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What it was...:-)
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What it is and would be....:-(

Last day a group of people from a Sri Lankan village cut the branches of a mango tree which was known to bear the sweetest mango ever and donated them to a group of scientist who offered to manipulate its genes and create more mango trees like that with the payment of a nominal fee. The mango tree clearly declared that cutting branches wasn’t a deal, but people didn’t care. Today morning just as everyone went to the tree to pluck a few fruits, they were socked to see that all the yellow, red mangoes have been replaced with green pale bitter gourds.
This news teaches us that, Greed is the end of all good.😰😥😰:(😱😨

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com

Health Minister suffers tragic Death from Heart Attack after identifying his toothbrush on shelf while Brushing his teeth

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30 February, 0060: “Hygiene is my gene!”, although grammatically incorrect, this tagline served to be the fingerprint identification of Antarctica’s Health Minister Mr. Slow White. Last Friday, after going home from the Antarctic Parliament Mr. White decided to sleep a peaceful sleep and dream a beautiful dream and hence brushed his teeth with a slight hurry. However, it was while this brushing of teeth that he suddenly realized that his tooth brush was on the shelf. It was a normal sight during the normal course of the day, but the paradox was that if he located his toothbrush 10 meters away on the shelf while brushing his teeth then how is he brushing his teeth? It suddenly dawned upon him that both the statements of the paradox was true as he was indeed brushing his teeth and his toothbrush was indeed on the shelf. In other simple words, he was brushing his teeth with someone else’s toothbrush. This infuriated him and broke him down then it agonized him along with terrifying him with a ghastly scare which when compared to his incomparable perfectionist-ism about hygiene created a deadly feeling of terror and insecurity causing palpitation accompanied with torrential downpour of sweat. He was immediately rushed to the hospital only to be reported dead officially. Doctors did the postmortem and declared the reason of the death to be heart attack due to over reaction due to breaching of personal core values which when translated to the words of common man stands for – death due to sudden unhygienic action of brushing teeth by someone else’s brush, by a human who is obsessed with personal hygiene.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com

After life threatening experience for 53 hours 392 Firefighters succeed in extinguishing the matchstick that caught fire

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30 February, 0047: Elders taught us not to underestimate the power of a common man, but no one ever taught that we should not undermine the power of even a single matchstick! Two days and six hours ago an one cent matchstick caught fire which was extinguished in the last hour after three hundred and ninety two firefighters gambled with their life to extinguish it. We investigated on how an object as simple as a matchstick can light up the lives of so many firefighters for so many hours. Within seconds we found out the truth. According to a witness from Louisiana, where the matchstick had caught fire, “I saw Mr Lighter walking towards the point where a new oil well was discovered recently, then I saw him lifting his cigar and then I saw him lighting a matchstick and then I saw him throwing it away, and then I saw him…well not him, but a ball of fire and from quantitative and qualitative analysis I deduce that the matchstick indeed fell into the oil well. It contained an estimated 1 Billion gallons of oil and the humble heat energy from a single matchstick did not hesitate to light the well up!” The mishap caused a calculated loss of 13 Billion dollars and claimed the life of Mr Lighter. Several anti-smoking organisations and campaigns have decided to use this case study to demotivate smokers from smoking as the cigar wouldn’t have been there held in Mr Lighters hand, he would have alive, so would have been 13 Billion Dollars and 1 Billion gallons of oil!

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com

Train takes off, after driver exceeds maximum speed limit

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30 February, 0040: Aviation Safety Department isn’t usually concerned with train accidents. But yesterday it was as a train took off and invaded the airspace leaving behind its earthly tracks. The passengers were infuriated by the sudden change in the direction of gravity as they could find no seat belt to secure themselves. Experts have found out that the train accelerated suddenly and due to a huge amount of air flowing underneath it and left the ground. It is reported to have crash landed inside a forest and broke several trees in the process. The driver has been charged guilty for over speeding and deforestation.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com

A small step for the driver, but a GIANT LEAP for the bus

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30 February, 0033: Some people believed that it was an aeroplane while the others concluded that it might be a flying saucer. It was a bus, actually, which flew that is, took off, was midair, and then landed (not in an appreciable way though). The insurance companies got something to pay for and the doctors got patients(a bus full of them) to practice upon while the engineers got a chance to build a new bus.
Here is what a witness had to say, “I felt as if I was sleeping. I saw a bus flying over that gap in the bridge which is still under construction. I guess the driver pressed the accelerator instead of the brake. Luckily, all are alive and there is no fatality.”
So that was all, a small press over the accelerator and the bus jumped entirely over a 6 m bridge gap. Theoretically, it bridged the gap!

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com