2 February 2018
Two stories are presently ruling the internet now. Both of them are the variants of the same news. One claims, “Amazing Amazon Amazes Amazon” while the other claims “Amazing Amazon Amazes Amazon“. Clearly, the people are confused. Hence, we will clarify the doubt.
A huge Anaconda, who was the resident of Amazon jungle, was planning to engulf an entire tree last week, when it realised that it had no camera to record the video of him doing that. If his video was not uploaded to YouTube his entire hardwork would go unnoticed. Terrified by this thought, he ordered a costly 10k dollars worth video camera. The delivery was scheduled within three to five business minutes as the camera was being sold by an anteater living in the same forest and a delivery guy was luckily loitering around nearby since he had apparently lost his track due to faulty Google Map directions. As soon as the delivery guy knocked on the bark of the tree the anaconda lived in, he slithered down and spiralled around the delivery guy to acknowledge his punctual delivery. Clearly, the Anaconda was amazed and so were every other poisonous insects nearby. Thus, Amazon had amazed the Amazon.
As soon as the snake signed the receipt with its tail, he unboxed the camera while recording the unboxing with the same camera that it was unboxing. Then, he set the camera up on a tree and swallowed the entire tree in a single go. This amazed the Amazon guy. Thus, Amazon had amazed Amazon.
To conclude, we can ensur eyou that bith the viral stories are true and you could believe either or both. However, the sad part is that the Anaconda realized after digesting the tree that he had forgottwn to hit the record button. All his meticulous efforts, as he acknowledged while sobbing, was rendered futile.
30 February, 0130: Possession, over the thousands of years of recorded history, has been the prime topic of discussion and disagreement. But if every possession signified a profession, the World would have been a strange place. Owning a Television, would have made you a Celeb, owning oil would have made you Mancheater City owner, owning a garden would have made you a farmer, owning a cat would have made you another Cat, owning an iPhone would have made you Siri and similarly owning a Camera would have made you a photographer. The point of all these nonsensical examples is that none of the formers in a pair would validate the later.
Our innocent world, mainly the youth, have been tricked into believing that owning a camera is the only requirement to classify yourself as a photographer. And as any human who has attained wisdom will tell you, THAT is not the case. Casually speaking, our world does not exactly get harmed from non-photographers hailing themselves as photographers, but on a larger scale this does have a negative impact on the society. Let us try to understand how?
The problem begins, when camera possessors decide to ostentatiously show off their photographing skills. They start by trying to capture a flying bird and end up with a picture of the blue sky, which too is quite appreciable and then they act as if snapping the firmament was their primary intention. This is okay for the viewers, but for the bird who flew to its glory to be captured by a lens, it is quite heart breaking. And considering that aves heart too is as 4 chambered as ours, we are basically hurting an almost humane heart. “A dreadful sin”, as many would term it!
Secondly, the problems perpetuate as the night approaches. Everyone awaits a low-light masterpiece. The one with the camera proceeds to the centre-stage. All eyes on him. He lifts the camera to have a lowlight night groupfie. He adjusts eV and other brightness settings. Then just as his index finger proceeds to click the shutter, the camera loses battery power and shuts down. And the time it takes to recharge the HORRIBLE THING, that’s what the ‘photographer’ refers to his camera as, our beloved SUN decides to rise marring our intention of night groupfie!
Thirdly, the worst problem, arrives as the photographer tries to take the picture of a moving target or a stationary target when he is in motion! Usually such a picture resembles a pixelated color soup, but if your luck is real good, and by real we mean REAL good, then you might just be able to discern a faint sky and a hint of greenery from the famed photograph!
So, if there is some advice we can advise, it is that a poet captures the essence of nature in words is as more of a photographer than a mere possessor of camera is. Hence, appreciate your possessions silently in your mind, but let the others decide whether your possessions define your professions! 🙂
Reported by, Soumyadeep Mukherjee*
- Red Devil
- wears different shoes in different legs
- Engineer and a Professor of Engineering
- owns a camera and is an awesome photographer
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