Ambulance defeats Bugatti in Kolkata Drag Race!


30 February, 0159: Humans always receive an inexplicable pleasure by winning prizes, even if that comes at the cost of messing up your normal life! Ambulance driver Dr Haripodo Poddar did accurately exemplify the aforementioned statement, by participating in a drag race even though he was taking a highly critical patient (who was simultaneously suffering from every disease including housemaid’s knee but was not a hypochondriac!) to the hospital. The venue of the race was College Street! After registering in the race, he found out that his competitors were driving super cars like Bugatti Veyron, Lambos and Porsches! However he had to console himself by driving just a Maruti Omni, which was being used nowadays as an ambulance, or as many people called it, SHORTCUT TO HEAVEN or HELL (Depending on your browser history!).

The race began amidst the cheers and before the Bugatti and Lambos could move, they found out that College Street is a one way street and they were about to race in the opposite direction! Therefore, they started the race in reverse gear. The ambulance however, proceeded anteriorly, like a boss!

People moved out of his way and the ambulance sailed like an airbus at its top speed of 25 kmph! For the super cars, however, the story was different. People seemed to deliberately block their way, traffic seemed to be overwhelming! Rickshaws, pedestrians and trams scratched the glossy exteriors of the car. The drivers immediately stepped out and started cursing randomly. This increased the osmotic potential of the Street. Many more people moved onto the roads like solvent molecules and scratched the cars at newer places, which perpetuated and intensified the entire cyclical process in a positive feedback loop!

Even before the cars had reached the 100 m mark, though in the reverse direction, the ambulance had already crossed the finish line! The Ambulance driver was received as a hero by the people of Kolkata! After all, a Maruti Omni had defeated a Bugatti!

The patient had died by then, so the driver donated his body for dissection by medical students!

🙂

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Editor-in-chief

Antarctica Daily

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Mango tree mysteriously bears bitter gourds after local people forcibly cut away some of its branches


30 February, 0065: Nature has been angered and here are the consequences. No more mango its just bitter gourd.

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What it was...:-)

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What it is and would be....:-(

Last day a group of people from a Sri Lankan village cut the branches of a mango tree which was known to bear the sweetest mango ever and donated them to a group of scientist who offered to manipulate its genes and create more mango trees like that with the payment of a nominal fee. The mango tree clearly declared that cutting branches wasn’t a deal, but people didn’t care. Today morning just as everyone went to the tree to pluck a few fruits, they were socked to see that all the yellow, red mangoes have been replaced with green pale bitter gourds.
This news teaches us that, Greed is the end of all good.😰😥😰:(😱😨

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com

New ‘Fission Funny’ is equipped with six reverse gears


30 February, 0037: What goes up, always comes down. But what goes front may not always come back. However, now the brand new Fission Funny will! It has a top speed of 240 mph in the reverse direction. The car manufacturers believed that this remarkable innovation could help improve the traffic rules around the world. For example, roads no longer will be divided into 2 lanes as all cars can accommodate themselves in a single lane. Both inbound and outbound cars could travel in straight lines and simply shift to reverse gear if they needs to go back. No more U turns and no more junction problems. Less traffic jamming and wider smiles on people’s face!

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com