How Cockroaches exploit WiFi?

30 February,0105: Is your data running out faster than your usage rate? Are cockroaches annoying you by getting smarter? Both these questions are basically the same question in disguise.

“If the answer is YES to both these and if it means what I think it means then you are in trouble, Big trouble and if your data is running our as I speak, then I am not taking any chances, you are doing just what the cockroaches ordered.”

-said by President of the Internet Mr Sam Wan, after asking the two questions in a press conference.

Cockroaches are using up your mobile data or your WiFi data in an ingenious way. We have no idea how(mechanism) they are doing it, but we do know HOW(procedure)?!

  1. Using Social Media like Facebook and Google+, they are creating fake accounts and deliberately sharing content stating that Cockroaches are beneficial to human health.
  2. Using Amazon and other similar websites they are ordering millions of bottles of cockroach spray and and destroying them upon delivery.
  3. Using websites like Zomato they are finding restaurants in neighbourhood and are attacking the kitchen.Using TripAdvisor they are planning their trip to visit different locations.
  4. Using Twitter they are following which celebrity is susceptible to cockroach fear and are blackmailing them to speak for the cockroaches.
  5. Using Stackexchange and other Q/A based websites like Quora and Yahoo answers they are giving a cockroachish touch to every question and doubts. These actions are playing an important role for inducing Cockroach Obsessive Behaviour(COB) in children.
  6. Using Wikipedia and StumbleUpon they are Stumbling upon different webpages which are improving their knowledge. They are also taking online courses from Coursera and edX and attending Tedx lessons.
  7. Using YouTube they are sharing Cockroach-phillic videos.
  8. Using Wix, Tumblr, Weebly they are creating websites and buying domains to make cockroachy websites.
  9. Using Google Drive and other  cloud storage websites they are uploading cockroach eggs for later download and 3D printing in other PCs.
  10. Using the medium of malware, worms, viruses, trojans they are spreading the cockroach culture all over the world.
  11. They are also signing petitions, forming intra and inter specific, generic, family, order,class,phylum and kingdom groups to enforce Cockroach rule all over the world.



Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Antarctica Daily