Aeroplane Flushes Kill more people than Crashes


30 February, 0135: Have you ever been to the restroom while flying? Yes of course. Did you walk out alive? Well, I did but on a stretcher after the emergency landing.

If you can relate the preceding text with your life and if you are still alive then you should probably thank the modern medicine. A study conducted last April found out that, Out of 35,000 who ‘walk’ into the plane restroom, only 3500 are lucky enough to walk out. About 10,000 are carried out and the remaining, their souls simply increase their altitude a bit further and reach their final destination.

In case, you still have no idea what we are talking about, well, it’s the restroom FLUSH. It has been metaphorically compared to mount Vesuvius by the great author Pliny. Meanwhile, Shakespeare and the contemporaries have kept themselves contented by regarding it as the Thunder. In fact, according to historians, it was believed by Great thinkers in Ancient Rome that the Thunder was nothing but a Flush from a plane restroom. Several instances from the stone age suggest that it was such noises from the plane restroom which has taught the early men the importance of Noise Cancelling Headphones. Anthropologists have blamed such flushes to be the reason for the Great Paleozoic Extinction and also the reason for the Dinosaur’s extinction.

Beware, FLUSHING KILLS.

Now let us ask an experienced Pilot about how he feels after flushing? He answers,” That is the scariest thing I ever did in my life. The sudden boom , which is indeed a sonic boom, gets echoed inside the cramping restroom and somehow manages to knock me out every single time. In fact that is why airplane companies have added this external restroom door opener, to forcibly open the restroom door even if it is locked from inside.” We won’t deny but we found the last statement, well, DISTURBING. So much that we immediately discontinued taking the interview.

But we hope, that mankind will overcome this problem. Just like they learnt to fly one day, they would, one day, learn to silence the Restroom Flush. With this beautiful thought in our mind, let us count till 12 and then we all will be silent.

PS: In case you have no idea why, check out on Pablo Neruda.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: Our Simple yet Elegant Website

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Cabin Crew clicks breathtaking groupfie after the cockpit blows off and successfully uploads it onto FB after tagging all the crashing passengers, selecting the location, updating that they were feeling Curious and sharing with hash tag ‘#crashing’ after writing a 104 word post and re sharing it 5 times, liking each one and commenting the audible screams and live commentary of the crash in every post before the plane slammed onto the ground.


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30 February,0056: Air Crash Investigation team declared that overuse of technology onboard flight-1729 was the main reason the flight crashed. Too much radio waves were being emitted from the electrical gadgets on the plane which resulted in a phenomenon called phylloastronomoliosis, a strange over excitation of matter and immediate conversion of the same into energy resulted in the breaking away of chemical bonds between molecules and destroy any manmade structure. Around 12 Noon, when the flight was above an island in Southern Pacific Ocean, a sudden blast resulted in the breaking away of cockpit. However the passengers ‘normally’ would have screamed to death, the passengers of this flight didn’t instead they logged into their FreshBook account and updated their status. One such cabin crew, which the headline talks about, did all that he had to do, and received 382 likes before the plane crashed. Experts have acknowledged this act saying that although the black box, flight data recorder and the cockpit voice recorder were destroyed, the FreshBook posts helped us answer why the flight crash.

P.S. The Headline of this news won the prestigious Award of ‘Longest Headline Ever‘ and our editor in chief Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay received the trophy from the Governor of the Galaxy.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com