This Math problem has stumped even the Legendary Cricketers

30 February, 0157: Never in a million years did anybody come up with the solution to the question posed by the world-famous mathematician and spare-time-wicketkeeper Dr Partial Derivative, not exactly because the problem was too difficult, but more so because, a million years have not yet evolved ever since he did pose the problem! This problem is not invented by him and his browser history says that he simply had fished it off Google.

Kids don’t understand this problem,
Men can’t solve this problem but
Legends always give up whatever they are doing and attempt to try to endeavour to seek to strive to solve this problem.

And such legendary cricketers are the ones who are affected the worst! Dr P Derivative, as mentioned above is a wicket keeper of a charity cricket team which plays cricket matches with World’s Legendary XI (a dynamic cricket team consisting of the best cricket players to ever play cricket!) to raise money for raising money! Whenever his cricket team is about to lose a match and he is wicket keeping, he shouts out the problem from behind the batsman. Being legends, they immediately start solving the problem. The bowler bowls and with the batsman busy, the keeper stumps forcing the umpire to raise a finger high up in the air, which if had been the neighboring finger, could have landed him in trouble! However, it was the math problem which basically did the stumping!

Experts say that the math problem is actually not a problem at all but rather the description of the Lagrangian of the Standard Model. It is so long and dense with mathematical symbols that it takes the legends forever to understand why on Earth, or for that matter, in the Universe would the wicket keeper shout out such a elemental historical fundamental physical mathematical factual real description to them at the middle of the match, and ask them to solve it and in the meantime the wicket keeper Dr PD would have already stumped them out!

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🙂

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily

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IIT Aspirant files PIL against IPL to introduce Negative Marking

30 February, 0150: Equality is the basis of Democracy. We learnt it. He applied it!

He‘ refers to an unnamed IIT aspirant from Mumbai, India. His belief is that if IIT Aspirants get negative marking for wrong answers in the JEE Exam, then the Cricket teams should get Negative marks if they lose the match. The idea has won followers over many social media platforms.

As you can see, His facebook post was liked by more than half the human population within only 9 milli seconds! Even on Twitter he was the boss…

Fake iPhone Text Generator iOS

We managed to get a screenshot within nanoseconds of Him Tweeting this. But in the next 4.5 microsecond his tweet became the most tweeted pic ever! His account became the most followed account ever and He received at least a trillion replies.

Among his other ideas, was that, IPL teams can choose to play which game they like. Therefore they may attempt and play only the games they want to and no points will be deducted. Also he asked for increase in the number of games to 90 for the perfect point of 360 as he demanded +4 for every win and -1 for every loss. Plus, he added that every game should be completed within 3 hours. Players will be vigorously checked before entry into stadium and no bluetooth communication devices will be allowed. Players can wear only loose fitting clothes like Track suits. Also they are not allowed to bring their own bats and balls and protective equipments and they will be supplied by the stadium authority.

With such immense success in spreading the word to make life harder for cricketers, we believe that his initiative will surely succeed in succeeding and hence introduce negative marking in a cricket league. His PIL has been supported by everybody in this galaxy including the IPL cricketers themselves!

PS: Another story by such an unknown “HIM”.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
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Mango tree mysteriously bears bitter gourds after local people forcibly cut away some of its branches

30 February, 0065: Nature has been angered and here are the consequences. No more mango its just bitter gourd.

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What it was...:-)

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What it is and would be....:-(

Last day a group of people from a Sri Lankan village cut the branches of a mango tree which was known to bear the sweetest mango ever and donated them to a group of scientist who offered to manipulate its genes and create more mango trees like that with the payment of a nominal fee. The mango tree clearly declared that cutting branches wasn’t a deal, but people didn’t care. Today morning just as everyone went to the tree to pluck a few fruits, they were socked to see that all the yellow, red mangoes have been replaced with green pale bitter gourds.
This news teaches us that, Greed is the end of all good.😰😥😰:(😱😨

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com

Umpire receives the Man of the Match trophy

30 February, 0032: Cricketers are mostly rewarded with a man of the match award for their brilliant performance in a cricket match. Umpires however remain utterly sublime for their honesty and proper conduct during the game. But yesterday something strange happened. Mr Steel Burger was awarded the man of the match award for his brilliant fielding! In other words, the umpire was awarded the man of the match! Let’s get into details now, as a news without statistics is equivalent to a ship (not the modern ones) without sail. India scored 320 in the first innings. Australia was restricted to 160. Simply a 160 run victory for India. But don’t think that India played marvellously well because there performance was quite ordinary. It was due to the brilliance of Burger who had saved almost a few hundred fours and a few thousand two or three runs while he had been umpiring at the leg! He even dismissed Whatson as somehow he managed to jump at the right time to avoid the approaching ball which resulted in catching the ball with his lower jaw and neck. Ultimately he along with the other Indian eleven managed in restricting Aussies to just half the target.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com