Aeroplane Flushes Kill more people than Crashes


30 February, 0135: Have you ever been to the restroom while flying? Yes of course. Did you walk out alive? Well, I did but on a stretcher after the emergency landing.

If you can relate the preceding text with your life and if you are still alive then you should probably thank the modern medicine. A study conducted last April found out that, Out of 35,000 who ‘walk’ into the plane restroom, only 3500 are lucky enough to walk out. About 10,000 are carried out and the remaining, their souls simply increase their altitude a bit further and reach their final destination.

In case, you still have no idea what we are talking about, well, it’s the restroom FLUSH. It has been metaphorically compared to mount Vesuvius by the great author Pliny. Meanwhile, Shakespeare and the contemporaries have kept themselves contented by regarding it as the Thunder. In fact, according to historians, it was believed by Great thinkers in Ancient Rome that the Thunder was nothing but a Flush from a plane restroom. Several instances from the stone age suggest that it was such noises from the plane restroom which has taught the early men the importance of Noise Cancelling Headphones. Anthropologists have blamed such flushes to be the reason for the Great Paleozoic Extinction and also the reason for the Dinosaur’s extinction.

Beware, FLUSHING KILLS.

Now let us ask an experienced Pilot about how he feels after flushing? He answers,” That is the scariest thing I ever did in my life. The sudden boom , which is indeed a sonic boom, gets echoed inside the cramping restroom and somehow manages to knock me out every single time. In fact that is why airplane companies have added this external restroom door opener, to forcibly open the restroom door even if it is locked from inside.” We won’t deny but we found the last statement, well, DISTURBING. So much that we immediately discontinued taking the interview.

But we hope, that mankind will overcome this problem. Just like they learnt to fly one day, they would, one day, learn to silence the Restroom Flush. With this beautiful thought in our mind, let us count till 12 and then we all will be silent.

PS: In case you have no idea why, check out on Pablo Neruda.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: Our Simple yet Elegant Website

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Watch Makers to replace HOUR markings on clock with MONTHS


30 February, 0111: Changes and Chances have two things in common. Firstly, the spelling is almost similar, and secondly, no one can predict when they are coming.

Suddenly , it was published last week by the Watch Makers Society that from now on every watch would be made with the months replacing the hour markings. Therefore most of our watches would look like this:

This measure has been taken based on the hypothesis that we do not appreciate the presence of TIME any more. Hence, let time be a thing of past and date be our present.

Most MNCs’ have already agreed on using months to refer to times rather than hours and minutes. We are not exactly sure, how on Earth will this Change help someone but we are optimistic that with the passage of time we will appreciate the absence of time and have more time for completing our works.

FOR ANY MORE QUERIES, visit THIS WEBPAGE.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: Pun Wit MeMe

WARNING: After the Sun Sets today, the Earth would be plunged into DARKNESS


30 February,0096: It was thought to be a myth, but it is an established fact now. Just as the Sun goes down, our Mother Earth would be plunged deep into darkness. If you are reading this article, then continue reading if you really want to see light ever again.

Around the world, the scientists have already predicted the time the sun will set today. But what will happen after that is still unknown. Darkness, as the name suggests, is going to engulf our mighty planet.

Survival guide:

  • If you are indoors, then ensure that all your light bulbs and tubes are functioning as they can come handy during Darkness.
  • If you are outdoors, then try to look towards the sky. If you do not see the sun, which you probably won’t, try looking for other minute dots of twinkling light on the sky. These are stars and observing them can be an effective way to find your way back home.
  • If you can see a large white heavenly body, then rejoice because you have just located the closest heavenly body to Earth, the moon, it can substantially help you deal with darkness.
  • Accumulate emergency stuff like, Torches, batteries, first aid box, as all the shops would be closed within four to five hours of darkness.
  • Unite with your family and stay together, it would be a good idea to move into a large community hall with your neighbours.

Beware, it is coming…..

Don’t panic, HERE IS SOME GOOD NEWS:

  • After much hard work, scientists have predicted that all the time zones won’t be affected by this darkness at the same time. At a given time only half the world would be in darkness.
  • The probability that the sun will rise again tomorrow again is 1.
  • The scientists have termed this state of darkness and absence of illumination as NIGHT.

FOR ANY MORE QUERIES, visit THIS WEBPAGE.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com