FREE and the Newest Sources of Energy


30 February, 0113: Preventing the prevention of environmental degradation of Earth is a shame as it was the first planet to be discovered by the human beings. Though many of us still doubt the existence of our home planet, Earth, and several others eloquently express so,  it is widely accepted that caring for the nature which cares for us is a beneficial and a good deed that would convert Earth into paradise and also seal our place in Paradise. Assuming that you have already guessed how the arguments are progressing I would save a little energy from both my and your side by substantially reducing the mass of this seemingly meaningless introduction!

Here are few modern ALTERNATIVE SOURCES of ENERGY:-

  •  Hatred: Scientists from the University of South Pole have succeeded in channeling the hatred that exists both intra and inter human beings to something useful. (The technology is simple. Irritate a person by repeating the name of one he dislikes and he will use up ATP to add velocity to the glass object near his strong hand which can be used to turn a turbine and generate energy. Scientists have agreed that names of Celebs like Justout Barber can appreciably improve the technique by irritating the person to never-seen-before levels.)
  • False Promises: This is a pseudo-energy source as it can improve the performance output of the suppressed class by FALSE promises made by their bosses. Many powerful people have already  adopted this method to improve productivity at the expense of exploitation.
  • Tether Earth and Mars: Since the distance between Earth and mars is variable, tethering Earth and Mars can lead to storage of elastic potential energy in the rope used to tie them.
  • Glucose: Only Applicable for humans who are easily fatigued by their 8-hour 5-week work schedule.
  • Disproving the LAW OF CONSERVATION OF ENERGY: Researchers and scientists from the Universal University of Universe, have succeeded in finding counterexamples to the Law of Conservation of Energy. According to a study by them, “Human behavior is not in accordance  with conservation of Law of Conservation of Energy as they always overreact in simple situations and shut up in demanding situations”. The habit of talking behind the back has considerably aided this research in UN-understable ways!

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Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: Pun Wit MeMe

 

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