The Terrible Teacher


Put simply, it is insanely difficult to put it simply. I have tried in English, French, Spanish and even Python, Java and QBASIC, for all are languages, but I have failed, undeniably miserably, at expressing what I was expected to, upon being asked the question, which though, was strangely metamorphosed into a morbidly labyrinthine piece of literature, was proclaimed to be an integral part of my syllabus, by my teacher, who I have attributed with, the epithet of being terrible, in the Heading of this post. I have known people who are brick walls in accepting any creative answer and I have met people who are sewage pumps in framing questions, but never have I ever, encountered the miserable phenomenon of facing a person, who simultaneously belongs to those two categories.

Five minutes in, and I declared that I could not make any more sense with my sensible answer, than I am doing right now. And then I had to explain why, upon receiving a stimulus. And then I had to explain why I answer rhetorical questions, which after answering, I realised was itself a self-interrogatory rhetorical question! And since then, I have been answering…..

I know not, when I may Stop (breathing, for that is the only way this Viva could end!).

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
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To save papers, Exam board announces that NO answer in an exam can exceed 5 words


30 February, 0072: Students have not yet recovered from their shock of ecstatic happiness. The world has rejoiced like never before. What’s even more weirdly queer is that the fear of exams has become a phobia of the past.
                           CLICK HERE

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Teachers however have suddenly been depressed by the erratic change of exam pattern by the exam board. They have openly shared their murderous feeling towards exam board. Not only would this reduce the number of possible question could be asked, it would give students the upper hand as they could ask for explanation for every word they wrote. Meanwhile a physics teacher from the Princesston University asked the exam board to explain how to explain Newtons Universal of Gravitation in 5 words, meanwhile, an English teacher from Oxenford University asked the exam board to write the summary of The Tempest by Shakespeare in 5 words. Exam board, is presently mad with pressure of answering in 5 words, but they said that no matter how hard the situations turn out to be they would try to SAVE PAPER till their last breath.
They have even formulated a law saying, “Answer > 5 = jail” which meant any answer with more than five words could land the ANSWERER in jail.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com

HOW TO PASS A DIFFICULT TEST EASILY?


30 February, 0063: “If exams scare you, you ace them.”, One of not-at-all-the-greatest quotes told by South African Teacher Sober Sobobobo proves the fact that Exams are more frightening than Ghosts.

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That’s why Antarctica Daily has decided to help you play card with exams and ace them perfectly. Here are few hacks to ensure you top your upcoming exam:-
1)Firstly, remember that the one who sets the question paper is usually the question paper setter. The type of paper he sets is in direct agreement with his mentality and hence if you know his mentality you get to know the question paper, or if you know the question paper which is quite recommended,  you get to know his mentality which isn’t quite recommendable.
2) Always try to drink as much water as you can as water improves concentration but don’t drink more than 6 litres of water as it might kill you due to over dilution of blood.
3)While Answering questions never question the answers.
4) Remember time and tide waits for none, but the supervisor is neither time nor tide so he or she might wait, all you need to have is a firm grasp over your paper and an ability to repeat the line,”just one second extra, please.”
5) Use the bench to do rough work, don’t ever use paper, REMEMBER, rough papers cause deforestation (you know how!).

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6) Grow the habit of asking for the answer paper instead of the question paper, as writing questions for given answers is easier than writing answers for given questions.
7) Either fail badly or don’t lose any marks and get full marks as getting only a few marks less from the full marks is the worst result one could have. Neither are you perfect then, nor are you a failure. You might suffer from identity crisis.
8) Always bring the books with you but don’t read them, just think about them, about how innocent, informative, virtuous they are or how cruel, vicious and simply put, bad, they are depending upon the exam situation.
9) Don’t carry books in a bag carry bags in the books.
10) Lastly, don’t feel you will fail unless you fail neither be convinced that you will pass unless you really pass as future isn’t written yet and no one knows what might happen.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com