Taking the next step

17 February 2018

We will disappoint you. Deeply. And if disappointment is not your cup of tea or plate of kebabs, then we advice you to discontinue reading this. Instead, we recommend you to look at the feautured image above and appreciate the process of taking the next step.

If you are still with us, I’m afraid you will have to be with us for the next few hundred words or so, until we watch you take the next step and move on to another article, while we remain stranded in the yellow grass in which the bird is slowly sinking in. Look again, what do you think? The bird is hesitating to take the next step? Well, nope. It is the photographer who had clicked the image at the right moment, right? Again, nope. It is the grass!

The ones who had discontinued reading, had surely applauded it by now that the grass is infact, quick sand. The bird put a little more pressure on its left leg, and there you go, it started to sink. Look at its eye, you can almost feel the pain. You can almost sink into its mind. Wonder why? Because, its eye is no ordinary one. It is quick sand too. All camouflaged to deceive you. To disappoint you.

You hoped you will learn something new, read something amazing, but alas, you end up being disappointed, despite the dreadful disclaimer. The ones who had quitted had understood everything by now, and are probably onto their next article. But you? Still stuck in this labyrinth of words.

You see, such is life. You are given a disclaimer. But you struggle through. You start to suffer, but you still struggle through. But at the end, you emerge victorious, just like the ones who had already quit after the disclaimer.

But you have been disappointed. They have not. It might seem like they are the winners now, but believe me they are not. Neither are you. Neither am I. Nor the photographer, who by the way is Kingshuk Mukherjee, a world renowned wildlife photographer.

The true winner is the bird, because it is indeed taking the next step. Despite sinking, it still is taking the next step. And to succeed, you too should take your next step. And to make that a little easier, when compared to the aforementioned quitters, we are providing you the link to the next article. Click here and you will jump immediately to that link!

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Photography by, Kingshuk Mukherjee (His Insta Profile)

Advertisements

People are going crazy over this Antivirus, after its Ad goes Viral

16 February 2018

The antivirus was built by a hacker to spread a virus named Antivirus. But it went viral now. To advertise it, they used a biohazard. A virus. Readers are confused now. Let me explain.

Explanation: You see, the reason we call it a virus, is because it can go viral. In fact, the vice versa is a more believable argument. But when an Antivirus advertised by a real virus goes viral, it becomes the virus itself, following the previous rule. Now the viral antivirus, was viral because it was popularised by a culture of virus, which is a symbol of the wrecked culture of unethical hackers. This culture determining culture, was basically the virus, which forced people to buy the antivirus, which was itself that virus. As soon as the people, bought the antivirus compelled by the virus, it went viral which was just after the virus went viral.

Effects: We observed people with no computers buy an antivirus. We saw hospitals buy the antivirus to cure viral diseases. We watched viral videos about the viral antivirus. Yet, we did nothing. Then we bought the antivirus ourselves. For us, the viral habit had become vital.

One more explanation, because I bet you still don’t understand it: The company Virus is run by a group of hackers and a few life hackers. They decided to sell an antivirus. So, they planned an advertisement campaign. Instead of making an ad video, they made an advertising virus, which forced the customers to buy the antivirus. This virus, literally went viral. So, in turn, the antivirus went viral. All this was done by the life hackers. Now the hackers started their game. The antivirus was actually a virus. The name of that was Antivirus.

So, the Antivirus named Virus, designed as a Virus, went Viral, because a Virus went Viral!

Now share this post on whatsapp to only 4 people, and make it go viral. (Scroll below to share.)

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Have a nice day!

The Count of Monte Cristo shocks his Twitter fans

15 February 2018

Shocking the fans with strange, often life changing, tweets is a common happening on Twitter. But no celebrity has ever been able to shock the fans so badly as the Count of Monte Cristo himself.

He posted onto Twitter that this Wednesday, he was really bored and to kill his time he bought 120% stocks of Google, Amazon, Apple, Facebook and Microsoft. Also, he followed up later by stating that he felt like shopping a bit more and he had also bought Barcelona, Real Madrid, Bayern München, Paris Saint-Germain and Manchester United.

He felt 3 is a lucky number and continued his shopping to buy away five more planets. He bought the four gas giants of our solar system and then in a moment of whim also wrote away a check to buy the Sun. According to reports, he was facing a shortage of space on Earth and needed to expand his Real Estate business. To explain the purchase of sun, he pointed out that lately he has been craving for barbeques and what place better than Sun for a perfect barbeque dinner.

Presently, the net worth of Count of Monte Cristo is valued at a number no human mind can fathom. As his property, he already owns a few black holes from the Andromeda galaxy!

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Click here to MAIL me about anything you feel like!

Reversing the Hair Trimmer blades can GROW Hair!

13 February 2018

(IF YOU DON’T READ THIS ARTICLE TO THE END, YOU MIGHT FORM A WRONG OPINION ABOUT THE INTENTION OF THE ARTICLE. )

How many times have we realised from an experience that the enemy of enemy is a friend? This time too, we are taught the same old lesson! But the result, is so heart warming and mind lifting that even the poorest of men in terms if hair have established their dominance in the richest list with respect to the hair density!

It was a long standing joke, that the height of stupidity, was a bald man bargaining for a hair trimmer. Well, it is the reality now. From shop to shop, bald headed humans were seen restless to lay their hands upon a hair trimmer. The Hair Trimmer Selling companies immediately changed their target audience for the promotion campaigns to the less fortunate people, in terms of hair density! All everyone was waiting to do, was just reverse the blades.

Soon, every men and women were overed in hair, people who didn’t have hair were the hairiest now. Even the previously (naturally) hairy people, started to look bald now. So, they too started buying trimmers and reversing blades. The entire world was submerged under keratin within hours. The traffic got entangled in hair. The flights crashed into hair. Hair Fores broke out. The entire Pacific Ocean was soaked up. The world was suddenly more connected than they have been despite the presence of internet. But this connection, was irritating. Movement ceased. Anger rose. Blades were reversed again. Grown hairs were trimmed. Rockets were launched. The trimmed hairs were dumped in Uranus. The world was again filled with shiny scalps and hairless individuals.

It was then that the humans understood, that the lack of hair is not worthy of a problem, in comparison, the lack of compassion, is by far, a more immediate concern than mdoifying external looks. So, if you have less hair or no hair or negative hair or even invisible hair, stop worrying. But, if you lack moral values, start reading Antarctica Daily, for you need an immediate treatment!

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Share this and Come back tomorrow for more!

Apple Tree grows in Man’s Stomach after He Swallows The Seed

12 February 2018

The tree was about 45 cm long and its uppermost branches were being just observable from the top of his oesophagus and the back of the mouth. One of his friends warned him about the high possibility of greenish regurgitation in near proximity, which he found to be disgusting and gulped nervously. Thus the tree was rooted further in his body. The stem again grew a little more and few days later, the leaves were again visible at the base of tongue. Another forecast of vomiting later, and an empty swallow later, his tree found itself rooted deep within his intestines. The roots meanwhile, were also growing. As the stem kept growing and vomit warnings kept on coming, he kept on swallowing hard and this cycle kept on repeating. Soon, the roots saw light and felt fresh air, although fresh is a word we hate to use, especially in this contest, as it emerged from the other side. It started singing, “Hello from the other side!” and dedicated it to the leaflets which were exiting his body gleefully, rather greenfully, from what was indeed the other side, and if you ask me, the better side! He was asleep on the playground when all this was happening. So the roots found the perfect opportunity and finding the fertile topsoil as they did, they anchored themselves. When he finally woke up from a nightmare, where he dreamt he was dead, he found that it was impossible to move. Fearing complete paralysis, he went back to sleep, because his nightmare was now the best dream he had ever had. The tree found some more time to grow, and grow it did. When he woke up again, he found that he was now blinded he could not see the horizon nor anything that lies before it, how could he, for the tree trunk had already grown out of this mouth, and the bark had blocked his view in a way young leaflets never did!

How he was freed from the situation, or whether he was ever, is a question, no one who has seen the sun rise and the moon shine, can ever answer. The only thing that is known is that, the tree never bore juicy apples, instead from it were seen to hang space grey, silver and gold coloured tablets, headphone jack less smartphones and thin laptops along with a few weird looking mouse and earphones!

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Come back tomorrow for more…

Random Sentences make a Mighty Story

11 February 2018

Jumping out of a plane has been your most favoured pastime, for quite a while now. I may not be listening, but the archeologists have already pointed it out that the heat of ice can melt the fire. If you don’t believe it, just try to pick up an unputdownable book and turn to page number 394. You will find that the Sun has set so beautifully over the horizon that the butterflies are no longer hungry. A train however, can run you over, so you drink lemon juice and gurgle out the fire which was already melted by the ice. This way, even though the book you were reading won’t turn into a tiger, or connect words like crosswords and rap like a wrapper, but it will surely be a contradiction to the archaeologist’s findings. You can appreciate that while jumping out of the plane and reading the 394th page of your newspaper while the setting Sun, sets even further, upsetting you and the tiger, in the process. By now, you might feel like regurgitating the lemon juice or licking away the chocolate wrapper, but believe me the tallest trees are yet to be cut by the carpenter, who was rapping away the local train station time table. Suddenly, you will find irrestible crosswords fly away flapping its wings, spreading butter as it flies. Meanwhile, the horizon has disappeared under the setting sun, bleeding the sky crimson and bruising it black subsequently, while applying ice over the wound, to ensure that the newspaper gets read by everybody. You remember that strange sound you heard a minute back? Well that was you slamming onto the ground because you have forgotten to open your parachute amidst your favourite pastime, which, as you might remember, was jumping out of a submarine.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Come back tomorrow for more!

Silent Noise and Neonatal Senescence

10 February 2018

If the heading sounds awkward to you then you are not alone. We were trying to pull off an amazing alliteration and a cataclysmic contrast with the title, “Silent Senescence and Neonatal Noise“, but we ended up jeopardising it with two ostentatious oxymorons. But since we have messed it up, in the rest of the article we will try to convince you that every permutation and combination of these adjectives and nouns, does make some appreciable sense, even though we will often be deviating from the realm of reality, but then again, who in this entire earth, does wanna be confined in it?

  • The Silent Noise, as you might realise, occurs when you have been exposed to a lot of noise. So much, that ordinary noise seems like a silence to you.
  • But Noisy Silence occurs when the situation is reversed. Over exposure to extreme silence, can make you perceive normal silence as a din, and might snatch away your grin.
  • Neonatal Senescence refers to the infants who are already fed up with life.
  • Meanwhile, Senescent Neonates are those who are born with the wisdom teeth, and the quality it is named after.
  • Now, Silent Silence is suggestive of the solitude that precedes death.
  • However, Silent Neonates are a practical impossibility.
  • Because Neonatal Noise accentuates reality!
  • Senescent Senescence can be suggestive of a repetitive tautology.
  • Neonatal Neonates are very young, and we won’t talk much about them, for they are very delicate and we know too little about them!
  • Your grandpa singing “Waka Waka” is the live demonstration of Senescent Noise.
  • But such a thing is million times better than Senescent Silence, which is really heart breaking.
  • Silent Senescence can engulf you when you are unaware of your age, or at least you pretend to be unaware.
  • Noisy Noise is the synonym for the audio featured in the YouTube video with most dislikes.
  • Noisy Neonates, can cheer you up in the darkest of times.
  • Neonatal Silence, can similarly depress you even in the happiest of the moments.
  • But believe me, a Noisy Senescence is all we dream about secretly.

Noisy Noise, Silent Silence, Senescent Senescence and Neonatal Neonates are the few gems in our life, and we should preserve them.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay New articles Everyday! Follow us to Subscribe to the newsletter for free…