The passengers were stunned. They had just heard the boarding announcement. And now they were at their destination. In fact, the announcement, as their wrist watches told them, was few minutes in the future!
They had no idea what had happened. But the Pilot knew, so did the Cabin Crew, who were the minor few, who had set the time askew. They had hacked up the time, and commited a crime, added petrol to lime, and acted like a mime. They knew all the danger that hung around each passenger, but they were hired by a ranger, who was totally a stranger.
This stranger ranger had asked them to add the lime to petrol and fly the plane at a speed faster than that of light. This compelled them to travel back in time. And ultimately, they landed before they took off. Then the pilots and crew flew back and travelled further back in time and cancelled the flight. Hence, the passengers had literally paid for the ticket without even travelling.
This fuelled up a few debates. Firstly the legal scenario was debated. Secondly, the physical impossibility was emphasized. Ultimately, the quote about the queerness of reality was considered the winner. and everybody was satisfied by the result yesterday, although the debates were organised tomorrow!
Please Share This. This might save someone’s time!
30 February, 0127: Space ships were immediately sent to retrieve the horrified passengers, who experienced the most thrilling adventure of their life, a Space Trip with a London to NewYork economy flight ticket. Pocket friendly, environment friendly and, well, scary.
Before other news sources start blaming Bermuda Triangle for the mishappening, let us clarify that all this happened just because of a faulty Autopilot. 30 minutes before arrival, the pilots dozed off following a heated discussion on whether buying Fall Pogba was fruitful for Mancheater United. The cockpit voice recorder even recorded the Captain considering Faillaini to be playing for their opponents every match. The pilot, meanwhile, blamed More-Eno to Ruin When Runey’s career.
After further investigation, it turned out that the autopilot software was manufactured by a hard core Red Devil fan, which was boiling in anger after listening to the pilots. When the pilots forgot to switch off the autopilot and take control of the flight, the autopilot exploded with a burst of anger and released enough energy to leave the Gravitational Pull of the Earth. By the time it cooled down a little, the flight was hanging out near the moon’s “THINNER-THAN-MACBOOK-AIR-PRO” atmosphere. So it instantly lowered the landing gears and landed at the Copernicus Crater instead of the BigApple.
On interviewing the passengers, they shared their wide ranging vocabulary of curses and slangs. We are deliberately not publishing those words.
No one is sure, whom to blame, hence, the case has been closed for any further discussion on Earth and will be taken to Inter-Planetary Court (On Jupiter) next month as it involves crossing space beyond Earth’s Territory.
30 February, 0118: Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy you a state of the art Open Air Balcony in mid-air.
The first thought of having an open air balcony in an airplane is attributed to a Mental Asylum inhabitant of Ranchi, India. Reports say that the idea was thought of by him amidst a terrible LSD induced hallucination and was somehow overheard by AirBurst CEO Dr Firmament Fly. Although we are not sure how the CEO of the leading aircraft manufacturing company ended up in the audible zone of a mental asylum inhabitant, it has been proved with Satisfying Evidence that Nothing is Impossible. In a planet, where a hundred years ago, a flying machine would have been deemed as fantasy, a hundred years later from then have succeeded in building a Flying Machine with Open Air Balcony and other exciting luxuriously comfortable equipments.
The features of the “Dream Flight” AirBurst A880 are listed below:
As the heading reads, it has an Open Air Balcony with a Bungee Jumping Spot. The Balcony is accessible only when the flight rises above the height of 80,000 m, so that the passengers can enjoy the soothing effects of anoxia along with suffocation. This ensures that the journey remains memorable.
It features a Gym with all the modern equipments for training on the Go.
It has an Indian style Market or Bazaar with a fish market having fresh stocks from the day’s catch at Bay of Bengal. This addition was made to honour the Mental Asylum Inhabitant whose original idea it was.
The aeroplane has a government of its own with 3 different bodies, the Flyegislature, the Flyexecutive and the Flyudiciary. They have their own laws and impose taxes on the aircraft. Promoters can buy properties and several Tax free zones are also present to encourage industrialization on the flight.
A tennis court, two football stadiums, golf course and Cricket grounds are present along with basketball and baseball courts.
Few amusement parks, movie theaters and the first ever on the air Hospital also find their places in the aircraft.
It weighs approximately 0 Kg as the manufacturer used equal amounts of matter and antigravity matter in the construction.
The flight has extremely low fuel consumption due to negligible mass and hence can attain speeds up to that of light in 3.4 seconds.
Dark energy is used to meet the Energy demands on Board.
The manufacturer is even known to have added a few robotic Cabin Crews who serve the passengers.
A mountain taller than Mt. Everest, 76 rivers and 3 oceans are also present in the ‘Respecting Nature” Neighbourhood of the flight.
Cruise ship, helicopter and Jumbo Jet services are available on Board for the navigation of the flight.
It can accommodate a maximum of 3 Trillion passengers.
The manufacturer has promised that the next production of the company AirBurst A980 will be powered by matter antimatter annihilations and will be large enough to accommodate the entire Multiverse.
Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay Editor-in-chief Antarctica Daily Website: Pun Wit MeMe