Defence against Dark Arts to be taught in Muggle Schools


30 February, 0131: After a sequence of events which have left the Muggles concerned about their future, the OCD (Official Committee of Defence) have decided to introduce Defence against Dark Arts as a subject in the high school. Let us have a look on the few horrible happennings which have led to this strange decision:

  • Few muggles were injured, after their broomsticks took off and like every other real life object, got damaged mid air.
  • A pedestrian performed the patronus charm on a cab driver, when he refused to offer a ride to a foreigner.
  • Few miners joined the Dark army after losing faith from the world.
  • Leading University students, demanded a Quidditch tournament.
  • The Privet Drive home was auctioned off for 44 Billion Dollars.
  • Students have been using Apparition to ensure that they do not get late for school.
  • Teachers have been sending Howlers to parents to complain about their children
  • Aragog have been paying regular visits to arachnophobe homes.
  • Thieves were sent to Azkaban without proper trial.
  • Marauder’s Map was used to spy into neighbours’ homes by students.
  • Galleons have replaced bitcoins as second most popular currency after the usual paper currency.

Considering these unlikely magical events the experts have considered it the high time to educate the muggle high schoolers of ways of protecting them against the Dark-arts and hence live a better life!

Reported by, Sabarni Dasgupta*

Profile:

  • Graduate from Hogwarts
  • Had a dinosaur as a pet
  • Fond of Pumpkin juice and Flavour Changing Jelly Beans
  • Net Worth: tends to infinity

*Edited by,

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: Our Simple yet Elegant Website

Advertisements

Voldemort denied Plastic Surgery by HP fans


30 February, 0122: Last Monday, in Lost Vegas Spacious Spa, a customer arrived in hooded jacket, YouYes Polo Sweatshirt and horn rimmed sunglasses with a weird looking stick clutched in his long fingers decorated with uncut nails. The gruesome description was totally accepted by other people in the Spa locality, but a crowd magically gathered around the stranger when he removed his hood and slid off his sunglasses.

“I want a Plastic Surgery to be done on my nose”, said that man. It was then that the crowd broke into an uncontrollable civil riot, as every other witness pulled out pens, pencils, twisers, cigarettes and other elongated stuff and spelled out the ‘Petronas Twin Towers Charm’ simultaneously.  This did not affect the Dark Lord (as he was identified to be later) who was not a dementor nor an inventor neither anything rhyming with it. The woman in the counter declared that she was a Happy Rotter fan and by no means could help Voldemort out. This broke the heart of Tom Riddle (Voldemort is his nickname) and he immediately called up a cab (which was the same flying taxi owned by the Weasley family) and flew off, probably to the Forbidden Forest.

 

Voldemort after being denied plastic surgery… 😦

Devil Bongbottom, an eye witness, said, “Voldemort was denied a plastic surgery and then was made to flee the area by the simultaneous use of the Petronas Twin Towers Charm. I enjoyed every second of it, I wish our hero Happy was present, in that case, Happy would have been really happy!”

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: Our Simple yet Elegant Website

LEAVE YOUR SYMPATHETIC COMMENTS(if any) FOR VOLDEMORT, HERE.