How to Take a Better SELFIE?

Taking a selfie is an art, as much, eating a pastry is dieting. Both way, you look fat, or at least, fatter than you think you should legitimately look. But in the second case, you don’t look ugly!

So here are ways in which you can take a better selfie:

  1. Rather than spending money on a complete-face-reconstruction-plastic-surgery, try to visit exotic locations. The figuratively breathtaking scenary in the background will compensate for the literally breathtaking face in the foreground.
  2. Try to apply filters, however, though they may boost your confidence for the photoshoot, they unfortunately do not work in real life!
  3. Try to crop your face out of the picture.
  4. Doodle on your face, so as to hide the skin.
  5. Break the front camera, so that you can take pictures only with your rear camera which has better resolution, not that it will help though.
  6. Try wearing make up, and if you are already wearing it, you should try removing it ASAP (Because, ‘why bear the weight of an unfruitful solution?’).
  7. Try to smile, without showing your teeth and what you had last night.
  8. Throw away the phone and blame it for making you look ugly.
  9. Wear a batman mask in all your selfies. The MASK, is an even better choice.
  10. Appreciate the fact, that looks don’t determine the quality of your character. What a perfectly clicked & beautiful selfie can do, a suddenly clicked & ugly selfie can do too, for they are both totally useless. Instead, turn your eyes towards the scenary in the background instead of showing it your back. (OPTIONAL: Now ask your friend to click a picture. This will look comparatively better than the selfie!)

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Antarctica Daily



How to Travel in Time?

Travelling in time was considered to be impossible, until world famous scientist Dr Meryl Lee proved to the world that it is not only possible but is also insanely easy.

Here is the summary of the simple technique:

  1. First set up a clock outside a room
  2. Note the time before going into the room
  3. Darken the room by switching off lights
  4. Close your eyes
  5. Take a magnet in your right hand
  6. Take a solenoid in your left hand
  7. Raise the arms in the air
  8. Shake vigorously
  9. Continue for 15 minutes
  10. Now throw away both the solenoid and magnet
  11. Run out of the room at a speed faster than 15kmph
  12. Open your eyes and note the time in the clock
  13. Compare the present time with the initial time (when you had walked in)
  14. If you had followed the steps correctly, you should be more than 15 minutes into future
  15. Before doing the experiment, realise that you cannot go back once you have travelled into future and hence, you might end up wasting 15 minutes of your life or atleast 2 minutes for reading this post.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Antarctica Daily

How to SAVE Electricity?

30 February, 0147: Saving electricity is fundamental to ensure the sustained weight of your purse. So here is our earnest attempt to elongate the shelf life of your notes and bills. Follow what follows and your Net Worth will be appreciably given an unavoidable stimulus to increase the number of lagging zeroes behind the figure.

  1. Sleep in Fridge: Buying an AC is OK. Buying a fridge is OK. Paying the electricity bills for both SIMULTANEOUSLY is surely not OK. So for the sake of your status you can buy both, but for the sake of your bankruptcy status you should use either. Though placing the food items in an AC room is tempting, sleeping in a fridge is, by far, ADVENTUROUS.
  2. Convert your FAN into Generator: Simple. Your fan is run by a motor which is run by electricity. Use its mechanical rotational energy to turn an axle of a generator and feedback the electricity produced to the fan itself. Too bad, you cannot run the fan by the electricity it generates (blame the Second law of Thermodynamics for that) but you can surely cut down on the electricity consumption.
  3. Don’t Watch TV: Just don’t. Please.
  4. Steal the SunAnd you will have enough electricity for the next 5 Billion years. Just buy enough solar panels that will surround the entire solar surface area, or else you might just get a tan without even going to the beach.
  5. Attach a steam turbine proximal to Gluteus Maximus: Given the fact that children read our newspaper, we won’t elaborate on this one.
  6. Use your Anger: If you are angry on your boss or government, just use the amount of heat produced in the swearings and cursings in heating your food. Also anger is contagious, so stay ready with a bowl of food, for the first domino to topple. Make electrifying comments and use it to charge your mobile phone.
  7. Read Antarctica DailyThis way you’ll be able to read the post you are already reading and learn methods to save electricity.
  8. Buy Torpedos: These are chondrichthyes fishes which generate electricity and then you figure out a way to charge your laptop with these things.
  9. Work longer in your office: That way you will use less domestic electricity and pay less demanding bills.
  10. Migrate to a town with no electricity: This is clearly the best trick. Your electricity bill will plummet down to zero instantaneously!

These were voted to be the best methods by the scientists all over the Universe.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Antarctica Daily
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