Burger Burgler Burgher Still Steals Steel

4 February 2018

If you have ever witnessed your burger disappear, you can blame it onto him. He is an innocent, fat, simplistic man who earns his livelihood by stealing burgers. He has only one aim in his life, to EAT.

He was the Burger Burgler. He stole beef burgers, chicken burgers, chocolate burgers, beer burgers, mosquito burgers and any other type of burgers the people of our civilization has ever made. But he never stole anything that was not a burger. His idea of life was one, that was trapped in between buns. He simply could never think of anything but burgers, until he did. He thought of steel.

And then he stole one. And he did it again. In fact, it became so characteristic of him, that he stole steel everytime he thought of it. When we searched for him in Antarctica Net, the official database of every human’s present location, we found out that he was now a burgher of London. We wanted to meet him and we flew to London in our all new stainless steel flying submarine. When we got off the submarine in his backyard, we realised that our vehicle had a hidden quality, it could become invisible! We then understood that it was stolen. Thus, we knew we were in the right house, and ten minutes later we left the home with a steel recorder full of his interview.

We never found the steel recorder, once we returned to Antarctica!

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

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Every action has an equal and an exaggerated social media Reaction, says 22nd Century Scientist

30 February, 0074: The phone rang as it did everyday. No one could perceive or even posses the faintest clue that, that phone was from future.

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Now everyone knows what the message from future was. It was from a physicist who outwitted Fewton in knowledge, outshone Finestein in imagination and outmissed Forres in football. He told us. What he told is just a line. And we knew. We understood, Where Fewton had gone wrong? What Finestein couldn’t correct and why Forres missed goals in football like catches in cricket. It was all well understood, well explained. Just one line. And it explained it all.

Every action has an equal and an exaggerated social media Reaction

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The above mentioned law has been accepted by physicist to be called The modified Third law of Fewton.
The following recent examples are enough to explain the concept without explaining:-
1)  One day a dog sneezed near a factory, the next day TV channels said the Factory was trying to disturb the ecological balance by killing and integral member of the fourth trophic level in the food chain.
2) A drop of water was spilt from a water tank after it got momentarily overfilled, the next day radio broadcasters said that a tsunami might strike the neighbourhood of the tank(although it was a landlocked village in the middle of Sahara)
3) One footballer (Forres) passed the ball back to midfield from ten yards ahead, and the sports channels reported it as a voluntary action to score an own goal, hence insult the club and sack the manager.
4) Few asteroids collided near the nearest star Proxima Centauri, 4.2 Light years away, while Fleshbook posts recounted that two black holes had collided 4.2 mm away.
5) An unknown human being did an  unknown thing at an unknown place in an unknown time, and Bitter was filled bits like Pilot banged heads of earthworms in USA, clockmaker made cloth from water and Chef ate away His own preparations to ensure that his guests would like every single bit of it!

PS:- We were very concerned not to share useless news unnecessarily, hence you would never find any of the above mentioned rumors in our news databases. Every news we share is authenticate and true (in at least one parallel universe).

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com

Mango tree mysteriously bears bitter gourds after local people forcibly cut away some of its branches

30 February, 0065: Nature has been angered and here are the consequences. No more mango its just bitter gourd.

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What it was...:-)
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What it is and would be....:-(

Last day a group of people from a Sri Lankan village cut the branches of a mango tree which was known to bear the sweetest mango ever and donated them to a group of scientist who offered to manipulate its genes and create more mango trees like that with the payment of a nominal fee. The mango tree clearly declared that cutting branches wasn’t a deal, but people didn’t care. Today morning just as everyone went to the tree to pluck a few fruits, they were socked to see that all the yellow, red mangoes have been replaced with green pale bitter gourds.
This news teaches us that, Greed is the end of all good.😰😥😰:(😱😨

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com

International Spy-cum-Terrorist jailed for playing Tennis inside a mid-flight aeroplane

30 February, 0028: Human beings have been breaking laws since the dawn of time. And cops have been restoring them since the first time any law was broken. However, nowadays the number of crimes per year are increasing exponentially. An International Spy and a dangerous terrorist exemplified the above stated statement with extreme precision. Last day, when he was travelling to Australia from South America via a Boring-737 flight, he was arrested by the cabin crew and later taken into custody by Antarctic Police, after the flight had an emergency landing there. “He had caused several bomb-blasts around the world and have supplied a lot of classified information to the wrong hands. He hacked into extremely secured networks. He is really a mastermind”, read one newspaper article praising his criminal skills. The entire world has been shocked about how such a talented criminal could commit such a mistake. “He could have played tennis when he arrived at Australia. I can see no point in his idea of playing tennis mid-air!”, said the Antarctic Prime Minister amidst doubts and success of his police force. It is still not clear about how could one person play tennis inside an Aeroplane but we are certain that he has not been jailed for any criminal activity but for only misbehaviour inside an aeroplane. The cabin crew have been awarded the status of “Brave Fliers” for capturing a potential terrorist. Although the entire world is immersed in uncertainties our reporters have pledged to find more information about the criminal as soon as they can.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay