The Perfect Future of a Simple Past

14 February 2018

They were really tensed. Never ever in their life, had a gramatically obvious change, altered their life so dramatically. But they were surely sure that the future would, in no way, be like the past.

They met for the first time long back, but it was when they did its homophone that their future started to look like a present from the past! At present, they knew that the verbs which defined their relationship were conjugated permanently.

In their simple past, they used to use the future perfect, to express their love along with a few conditions, but they promised, that never in the perfect future will they use the simple past along with a reason, to define the same, for their admiration was never-ending!

They are pi and e and from this 14th February onwards, they shall always be united in the romantic relationship of e^(i*pi)+1=0!

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

New posts everyday!

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This Math problem has stumped even the Legendary Cricketers

30 February, 0157: Never in a million years did anybody come up with the solution to the question posed by the world-famous mathematician and spare-time-wicketkeeper Dr Partial Derivative, not exactly because the problem was too difficult, but more so because, a million years have not yet evolved ever since he did pose the problem! This problem is not invented by him and his browser history says that he simply had fished it off Google.

Kids don’t understand this problem,
Men can’t solve this problem but
Legends always give up whatever they are doing and attempt to try to endeavour to seek to strive to solve this problem.

And such legendary cricketers are the ones who are affected the worst! Dr P Derivative, as mentioned above is a wicket keeper of a charity cricket team which plays cricket matches with World’s Legendary XI (a dynamic cricket team consisting of the best cricket players to ever play cricket!) to raise money for raising money! Whenever his cricket team is about to lose a match and he is wicket keeping, he shouts out the problem from behind the batsman. Being legends, they immediately start solving the problem. The bowler bowls and with the batsman busy, the keeper stumps forcing the umpire to raise a finger high up in the air, which if had been the neighboring finger, could have landed him in trouble! However, it was the math problem which basically did the stumping!

Experts say that the math problem is actually not a problem at all but rather the description of the Lagrangian of the Standard Model. It is so long and dense with mathematical symbols that it takes the legends forever to understand why on Earth, or for that matter, in the Universe would the wicket keeper shout out such a elemental historical fundamental physical mathematical factual real description to them at the middle of the match, and ask them to solve it and in the meantime the wicket keeper Dr PD would have already stumped them out!

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🙂

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily

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A National Daily, A Football team REVOLUTIONizes Maths and Science

30 February, 0112: Let’s clarify the heading first:-

  1. A National Daily: Let’s just tell you that the Newspaper Head Office is at South Pole. And you can read the newspaper anytime for free by CLICKING HERE.
  2. A Football team: The football team we are talking about is REVOLUTION. They make awesome skill videos and are growing in popularity at the speed of light.
  3. The capitalization of REVOLUTION in revolutionizes: In case you still didn’t understand why, you were not paying attention and hence you should consider re-reading the article from beginning.
  4. How did they Revolutionize MATH and SCIENCE? Well this is the real question and we will explain in some detail.

It all started when Antarctica Daily and REVOLUTION agreed on a collaboration and created a puzzle to celebrate an important milestone for the popular football team. A science agency whose name cannot be disclosed then and then borrowed the idea and requested us to modify the puzzle to something of which the following picture is an example:

ULTIMATE

To understand what it means, you need intermediate arithmetic skills and also a scientific temperament along with a much needed SENSE OF HUMOUR, which is a prerequisite for Antarctica Daily readers. We are extremely happy to have helped the football team and also the potentially anonymous Science Agency and will look to collaborate with other people in future.

Our sister concern Pun Wit MeMe will put this image up on their wall as well. In case you like it you can legally download it from there.

IF YOU CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT THE IMAGE MEANS, LET US KNOW IN THE COMMENTS.

FOR ANY MORE QUERIES, visit THIS WEBSITE.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: Pun Wit MeMe

Physicists introduce 3 MORE Laws of Motion

30 February,0092: Students worldwide are extremely eMOTIONal due to the fact that 3 more laws of Motion are to be added to their syllabus along with 3 preexisting laws of motion by Newton. Meanwhile, teachers have concluded that motion laws would be the primary factor retarding the students’ progress.

Upon several heated press conferences, the Physicists let the cat out of the bag and we were enlightened with the 3 new laws of motion.
Assuming that our readers have a fine idea of the first 3 laws, we are directly publishing the 3 new laws publicly.
4th LAW: Hennessey Venom GT has the highest top speed in Asphalt 8.
5th LAW: The Fastest is not always the best, it is often the most furious.
6th LAW: The velocity of your car is inversely proportional to the no. of friends in your car and directly proportional to the square of the distance from your home when the direction is away from your home.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com

$$$ Free ways to make Money $$$

30 February,0089: MONEY, as it turns out, has turned out to be the basic need of human life. Considering the vast multitude of ways in which you can make money, the following are the wisest decisions that could be taken to pamper your pocket.

  1. The Egg-Chicken Metamorphosis: (If you are hearing this phrase for the first time, then kindly visit this link before proceeding.) A dozen of egg costs $2.50 on average. A single chicken, however, costs way better, about $3.00. It means that $2.50 of eggs can fetch you $36.00 of income, provided you sell the egg you buy, after it hatches and make a profit of 1440%.*
  2. The Money Exchanger: Among the popular money making habits developed recently, the money exchanger surely deserves a top spot. The idea is to sell newer and fresher currency notes and coins at a higher rate. For example you can sell, $50 for $100 if you are in US, Rs 500 for Rs 1000 if you are in India, etc.**
  3. The Dangerously Dangerous Danger: Often money making yearnings turn out to be a dangerously dangerous danger for the mind of an innocent human being. As a result , the person suffers from mental disorders and loses a lot of money visiting the psychiatrist. So do not have the urge to earn money in the first place and you won’t ever suffer from any problem.***
  4. The Rich Alien: With the advancement of technology, we are constantly creating opportunities for ourselves to leave the planet and settle in other planets. So make your plans and before the human race as a whole reaches a planet for settlement, visit the planet and set up high tax rules and plenty of banks to own the financial autonomy on the planet.****
  5. The True Money Maker: Lastly, if money making is your passion then responsibly seek a job at the Government Mint of your country. Maybe you won’t take the money you make, with you, but you will surely derive aesthetic pleasure observing and mingling with monitory materials.*****

IF NONE OF THE ABOVE WAYS WORK OUT, BUY YOURSELF A MONOPOLY BOARD AND MAKE MONEY LIKE ANYTHING…..

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
New: Check out the new Meme Store

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The investment time is too long and  the temptation to invite the eggs to the dinner plate, could at times be, as I say, quite insatiable which you should control.** It can land you in jail if not been completely ignored. *** It is the most important method as it teaches you a lesson about life. **** The investment in this case could be sky touching but returns will be in doubles of the capital at least. ***** This way, you can have a hand behind every note circulated in the country, which is quite prestigious.

Are you WITTY enough to get this?

30 February 0088: This joke was uploaded by Pun Wit MeMe  with the help of Antarctica Daily on their website. Mathematicians collaborated with physicists to decipher it’s meaning as it was classified the most dangerous joke of the millennia.

MATH

Ultimately it was explained by one of our witty journalist….

It meant, “I ate kFc and some pi.”

Root over of minus one is ‘i’…

8C1 is 8 which is same as ate…

the first term in physics is k(Coulomb constant) , the second one is F(Faraday constant) and the third one is c(speed of light)…

& means and….

the summation sign means sum = some….

and we all know pi….

Now scratch your brains and work out the meaning…

WHO ATE KFC AND PIE?

Ans:

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
New: Check out the new Meme Store

 

 

Unidentified Flying Object gets Identified while Swimming

30 October,0086: No one prefers a know-it-all or a similar do-it-all, not because it is a disgrace, but mainly because it often lands the doer amidst trouble. And so it did. The infamous UFO aka the Unidentified Flying Object, got identified doing a task, which is as paradoxical a work to itself, as convergence of Riemann Zeta Function at one.

ufo
Uranium+ Fluorine + Oxygen —> Iodine + Sulphur + Oxygen

The sudden identification not only removed it from the List of Unknowns but also ensured that it could generate no more interest on the grounds of speculation. Last Monday, a fisherman in the Pacific found out a flying saucer, which he thought was really a saucer without the tea cup, swimming in the cyan waters. He immediately took the thing back home and despite intentions and temptations to place sauce on the saucer or something similarly similar, he placed it in the cupboard and called up the Village head to analyse the scientific and philosophical consequences of admitting a swimming saucer into his flourishing cupboard(flourishing with bacteria, I mean). The village head who did not live in the village and did not have a head instantly called up our reporters to analyse the saucer with more intense scientific procedures. Our reporters found out that it was indeed the Unidentified Flying Object which due to some utterly unanticipated reason was Swimming.

Although no aliens have been found hidden inside the identified Unidentified swimming Flying Object, it is believed that the saucer can be a great step forwards towards solving the Fermi’s Paradox.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
New: Check out the new Meme Store