What a Crow-incidence!

23 March 2018

Everybody who lives on our planet, knows about the story of the thirsty crow. About how it was very thirsty, one hot day in a hotter summer. And how it dropped mentos in a bottle of coke to raise the level of the liquid and then fly away without drinking it, because it drank only diet pepsi.

This story hangs at the tip of the tongue of every human child, whether born or unborn, whether still a child or now an adult, whether a human or an alien. The least we can expect in such a situation is that the moral taught by the story must be clearly instilled in our minds. And as you might have already understood, it is not yet so.

Therefore, government is taking incredible steps to inculcate such values of creativity and determination among the younger generations. Last day, in a special class conducted in Antarctica, University students from every kindergarten school of the world were assembled together. Antarctic Education Minister, Sir Il Literate was giving a lecture on the thirsty crow.

At the middle of the lecture, he started to cough uncontrollably and decided to drink some water. But he discovered that his glass had only a few drops of water hanging out at the greatest depths of his glass. Instead of utilising the values he just taught, he loudly cursed the organising committee in obscene language.

Suddenly, a crow shaped penguin flew in from somewhere and slapped the minister hard on an unmentionable anatomical entity. With the minister howling in pain, the penguin dropped a few stones in the glass, a few on minister’s head and then poured the solitary drops of water from the glass on his head, along with the stones present within.

The students roared with laughter and clicked a few selfies and went home with a cheerful mind and a violent soul.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Editor in Chief

Antarctica Daily

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Health Minister suffers tragic Death from Heart Attack after identifying his toothbrush on shelf while Brushing his teeth

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30 February, 0060: “Hygiene is my gene!”, although grammatically incorrect, this tagline served to be the fingerprint identification of Antarctica’s Health Minister Mr. Slow White. Last Friday, after going home from the Antarctic Parliament Mr. White decided to sleep a peaceful sleep and dream a beautiful dream and hence brushed his teeth with a slight hurry. However, it was while this brushing of teeth that he suddenly realized that his tooth brush was on the shelf. It was a normal sight during the normal course of the day, but the paradox was that if he located his toothbrush 10 meters away on the shelf while brushing his teeth then how is he brushing his teeth? It suddenly dawned upon him that both the statements of the paradox was true as he was indeed brushing his teeth and his toothbrush was indeed on the shelf. In other simple words, he was brushing his teeth with someone else’s toothbrush. This infuriated him and broke him down then it agonized him along with terrifying him with a ghastly scare which when compared to his incomparable perfectionist-ism about hygiene created a deadly feeling of terror and insecurity causing palpitation accompanied with torrential downpour of sweat. He was immediately rushed to the hospital only to be reported dead officially. Doctors did the postmortem and declared the reason of the death to be heart attack due to over reaction due to breaching of personal core values which when translated to the words of common man stands for – death due to sudden unhygienic action of brushing teeth by someone else’s brush, by a human who is obsessed with personal hygiene.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com