30 February, 0168: Mathematician David Gravid Proglottid has made a weird prediction. He has successfully, predicted how long the last human on the Earth will be alive for. And to his surprise, even though that person would be the last on the planet, and is expected to live for not the least amount of time, according the popular proverb, the person will indeed be living for the least amount of time!
He has been unsuccessful in predicting when such a time would come, or whether such a time would ever come or not? But he has been triumphant in calculating that the the last person would leave for minus three years. This means that the person would die three years before he or she would really be born.
That has again sparked off controversies concerning whether or not the person will be considered as the last to live, if he dies even before he is born. To this, the mathematician and doomsday calculator Dr Doctor has defended David Gravid Proglottid by stating that, “We do not know that it is a he or a she. Hence even if he dies before he is born, she might not.” Although this has proved that Doctor himself has not understood the calculation properly, this has also instilled in the minds of fear about the destiny of their planet Earth.
Bottomline is however, that the last person will indeed live for the least amount of time.
30 February, 0167: So, tell me, do you WannaTry? This is the question that has preceded the worst form of disaster in the World for the last few weeks. Irrespective of whether the answer to the above mentioned question was yes or no, the victims had to try what was in their destiny. In the rest of the article, we will define the kind of things the people had to try.
Just like the WannaCry virus, this virus also spreads via networks. But unlike its predecessor, it spreads via real life human networks. This was first started off as a prank by a college student in West Virginia. When he and his friends were enjoying food in a Cafe, he suddenly screamed out ‘WannaTry?’ and dumped two litres of Coke inside the Coffee cup of his friend. She instantly revolted but instead of picking up a fight, she too shouted, ‘WannaTry?’ and dumped five chicken wings in the hottest sauce on the table and then into his milk shake. This trend spread off like Wildfire.
Now everybody in the world is suddenly shouting ‘WannaTry?’ and are dumping a food item into another in a combination, such that any sane person would never have the two of them together.
“The logic behind the prank is that, by asking ‘WannaTry?’ the prankster is actually asking the victim whether he or she wants to try something new!”, is what that Youngster from Virginia told us when we did this WannaTry prank to his entire family.
Nowadays, this prank has become so popular, that it was termed as a virus, for no known reasons.
30 February, 0166: The world is divided. No one knows the correct answer. Whether should we walk, or talk? Or both? Or none?
Some say, walk before you talk, others say talk before you walk. Some might say walk while you talk while others might say talk while you walk. Even though the last two opinions mean the same thing, the two group of people would still not agree with each other.
This has been a problem on the roads and traffic police has been particularly irritated because of this new dilemma. As a result, many have quoted Robert Lee Frost and have said that when taking a less chosen path, that is the road not taken, we should always walk and while going in the same path, aka the road always taken, we should talk, as loudly and judgementally as we can.
An international Committee for Walk or Talk has been formed with professional walkers and talkers from across the world. They have chosen a walkie talkie as their symbol! All of them are conducting experiments all the time, such as stability and safety of different permutation and combination of different styles of walking and talking. A popular consensus is yet to be reached in this matter.
30 February, 0165: One, Two, Three, Five, Six, Four, Seven, Eight,….. This is how you should be counting the numbers from now on. MAD (Mathematical Academy of Directors) have confirmed that this way of counting numbers in not only helpful but is also important.
How it is important, is not yet known, but a few facts about its importance can be appreciated very easily. For example, this way we get to count the numbers five and six first. This is very important, for the objects or items in a spreadsheet with serial number five or six as they get dealt with first before four is being dealt with.
This has however, raised several concerns in the mathematical community. Number Seven has clearly stated that it is not friends with the number four and if it is compelled to be a neighbor for the rest of humanity then it will deliberately change its square to 64 and its cube to 512, both of which are private property of eight. In return Eight has claimed that it might leave the entire number system if its irritatingly lucky never seven, encroaches its higher powers.
Because of all these issues the maths world has been getting filled with dirty politics since the last week. As of now, 4 still comes after 3, but very soon, it might come after 6!
30 February, 0164: No doubts anymore. The all new Biblioking is indeed the costliest book. It has been priced at about a trillion dollars. Here are some of the features of the book:
- Every page of this book is a iPad. From the first one to the sixth generation jPad, every one has been included in the making of this book.
- This book can be included in every genre in the library. It has stories which are simultaneously comedies, tragedies, romances, biographies and descriptions, both fictional and non fictional.
- This book has a poem which is so long, that to complete it a human being has to be alive for at least a thousand years, reading a thousand pages in one thousandth of a second.
- The book can be used as a football, baseball, basketball and also a cricket ball.
- The book can cook food for itself as well as for you.
- The book knows everything, you can ask it what Google does not know, and it can give you a thousand examples of the same.
- The book is known to emotionally blackmail anyone who does not buy the book.
- This book has been sold for over a trillion times, despite costing a hefty trillion dollars.
- This book was written by itself.
30 February, 0163: They were about to call the doctors, because it felt like that their ears were not functioning. But, after an hour long self diagnosis, it turned out that it was not their ear that could not hear, but it was the song that was silent. They, by the way, were other singers. The ones who do not take pride in singing silent songs.
This new trend has flooded the market. Singers from all walks of life have started to sing silently. Their moto is, “Our song helps you listen to the natural world.” It all started when a horrible singer was being booed away from the stage. He suddenly stopped singing and started to only move his lips. His singing was so bad, that new silent version seemed to be like heaven.
It was from then that this trend caught on. Nowadays, even the top singers have started to sing silently. Few others have taken this one step further and made blank music videos to accompany their silent wonder.
This has helped the world in several weird ways, however. For example, the net consumption has been reduced worldwide as it requires less data to transfer blank music videos from the server to the client. Storage problems has also been eliminated. Best of all, the number of ear and eye problems have dropped appreciably.
30 February, 0162: Chess is a fairly easy game if you can play fairly well. If you can’t however, you can now! The Grandmasters are introducing a new set of rules in the chess. The most interesting one among them is the introduction of the Green Square.
The major concern among chess players of all ages had been the untimely consumption of vital pieces by their opponents. Despite several strategies, it has always been impossible to keep the pieces safe. That’s why the green square is added, to keep your piece 100% safe.
The placement of the square caused a little problem among the players. Since, the chessboard is symmetric sudden introduction of a single square resulted in breaking of that symmetry. Therefore, it was decided that the green square will be added outside the board.
This created another problem. There was no means of transferring a piece to that location. Here came the brilliance of Magnet Cursor. He said, that the rook could be used to transfer any other piece to that location and that the knight can jump over the imaginary water present between the board and the square.
However, there is only one green square. Hence, as soon as the game begins, both the players are engaged in a battle to conquer the square. Often, the game has ended in a stalemate while trying to conquer that square.
It is widely believed, that this rule will change the future of chess playing forever.