30 February, 0145: On YouTube, we come across several videos about chemistry, many of which are about physical chemistry. Out of which, many deal with Equilibrium and out of them many deal with Ionic Equilibrium. If any one plans to be a successful chemist or murderer (as will be explained later) then it is of utmost importance that he understands the phenomenon of Buffering.
Buffer is a chemical solution like our blood which temporarily resists the change in pH. To stop the buffering action we can take the following steps:
Not add the weak acid salt of a strong base to the weak acid.
Not add the weak base salt of a strong acid to the weak base.
We can exploit the Henderson-Hasselbach Equation to further enhance the removal of the buffering action.
This can immensely help chemist in understanding the chemistry of buffers.Also, it can help murderers in killing people as the human blood is a buffer and can resist the changes in pH. Therefore the slightest dose of a poison can kill the victim if the buffering action is removed somehow. The people who would be helped the most are the Chemists who are also murderers!
30 February, 0141: We should be self sufficient in our lives. However, self-sufficiency was precisely what was not exemplified by the Contract Killers, here in Antarctica.
There are three most wanted most gruesome most famous Contract Killers named Alpha, Beta and Gamma. Now last month, Gamma had surreptitiously overtaken Alpha in the number of murders. So as usual, Alpha was indignant. Now Alpha decided to kill Gamma, which would not only add to his own tally but would also put an end to Gamma’s Tally. However, he knew that murder, unlike mercy, could not be twice blessed, and hence he contractually hired Beta to Kill Gamma. Beta however was behind both Alpha and Gamma in number of murders. The fact that, Alpha has to Supply him with murder contracts, hit his self ego. So Beta hired Gamma to murder Alpha. But Gamma was afraid Beta will take the credit of the murder after Alpha has been murdered. To prevent this from happening, he hired up Alpha to kill Beta. If Gamma then kills Alpha, he will be the only one left.
All three of them had now hired the other to kill the third and planned that the murder will take place exactly at south pole.
At the appointed time all three of them appeared at South pole with Guns. Everyone thought that the other will kill the third and as soon as the third is killed, he will kill the other. Now all three stood in the vertices of a perfectly equilateral triangle. Alpha started moving towards Beta and Beta started moving towards Gamma and Gamma started moving towards Alpha. Everyone thought that the third one was being overly dramatic. As a result of their movement their trajectory was like:
Their Path of Movement
All the three kept on moving expecting the third to stop and the murder to begin. But none stopped, as all three thought the same. They approached the center and their heads collided and they fell on the ground.
Suddenly Delta (The fourth best Contract killer) suddenly came from somewhere and killed all three, thus becoming the Greatest Contract Killer of Antarctica not being contractually killed by a contract killer who was hired by another contract killer. He was later captured by Antarctic Police and awarded 100000000000000000000000000 Antarctic Nachos (our currency) for killing other killers.
30 February, 0122: Desperate times call for desperate measures. Last Night when the Hospital of Eastern Land Patients (HELP) caught fire, it was theoretically impossible to evacuate the patients from their life support system in the ICUs. An intelligent Doctor, namely, Dr Murderer thought of an ingenious plan and ordered a ton of Less Chips Chilli flavoured from the nearest medical store.
On asking Dr Murderer, “Why on Earth was a medical store having Less Chips?”, he has answered, “It was on Earth as on any other planet life is not yet discovered!”
As the fire cut out the electric supply and burnt all the oxygen which, turned out to be highly combustible, the patients in highly critical condition had trouble breathing. So the doctor opened one packet of chips which was 99.96% air (Nitrogen) and allowed the patient to breathe from the packet.
This act of ingenuousness saved 182 lives and also confirmed that Nitrogen could also be used as a supplement for Oxygen and hence should no longer be called Pnictogen!
PS: The Less Chips is a fictional brand and any resemblance with real world brand is Highly Unintentional…