Apple Fanboy in coma after using Android

12 April 2018

Shock can come in many ways. It can come in an unknown way, in a scary way, in a well documented way, but the worst shock usually comes in a shocking way. It is this kind of shock that can send you into a coma and shock your family members and send them into a coma which can shock theirs and the chain reaction continues. Luckily, in our topic of discussion, only one boy had ended up in coma. That boy was a fanboy. An Apple fanboy.

We cannot blame him. He was innocent. He had never seen a home screen distinguished from the app screen. He had never imagined that he could selectively add shortcuts to his home screen and change layouts and add widgets and customize them to an extent that calling him the King of the world will probably not be an overstatement. He knew not, what custom launchers could do. He had never seen a store so full of apps and prices so cheap, all with its reviews and ratings. He had never seen so big a screen. He had never let Google Assistant do so many of his tasks which Siri would have professionally messed up. He was in a dilemma. Whether to give up his status of being an Apple fanboy or go back to his iPhone X.

With hormones raging, he finally made the decision. He belonged to the ecosystem of Google. It was in his veins. It was his destiny. With fear and anticipation, he finally dumped his iPhone X and moved on with his life.

But life is not easy. He could not AirDrop anymore. He missed the control center. He missed Siri’s voice, not that it was very different from Google’s, but still. He started to panic. Soon, he took his first dose of a prescription drug. That was the point of no return. One day, he was found collapsed on his arm-chair with the Android device beeping out notifications loudly in his breast pocket. Ever since he has been in the ICU and has been only responding to Siri’s voice.

With the example of this story, we want to highlight the fact that no matter whether you use Android devices or Apple’s latest phone, you are lucky. For there exists weird people in this world, who take their smartphones so seriously that they never hesitate to mess up with their life due to trivial reasons. Also, we want to boldly state that Android and iOS are both good, but none of them would ever beat the swag of the invincible old Nokia 3310.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

A Technical Thursday post

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Dragonfly and Dragon fly as Dragon flies like Dragonflies

20 March 2018

Reports are coming in like bullets. We are being shot and pierced and punctured throughout our organisation with hot breaking news that is flying in thanks to the talented reporters we have got. Dragon flies and Dragons have officially started to rule the mainstream media.

Out of all the stories which are developing, two of them are the most interesting. One states that Dragonfly and Dragon fly while the other affirms that the authenticity of the previous declaration is appreciable because Dragon flies like Dragonflies.

So, firstly we have the insect Dragonfly which has started to fly. Secondly, the mythical creature Dragon has also pushed off the surface of the Earth for a Morning Fly in the cool atmosphere.

The reason that happened is thought to be the similarity of strategies which both the species use to fly. Both fly by flapping wings in a manner which translates to “I dont want to learn Calculus” in sign language.

Also, whether Flying Dragon like Dragonflies is a question, the word ‘like’ here referring to the synonym of admiration, is deeply disturbing the scientific community.

For now, all the data we could manage have been shared. But very soon, we are planning to develop the story further.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Editor in Chief

Antarctica Daily

A Poem for Nerdy 🤓 Children 👶

19 March 2018

A for Adenosine
B for Ball
C for Cytosine
D for Doll
E for Epinephrine
F for Fall
G for Guanosine
H for Hall
I for Inosine
J for Jacket
K for Kinesin
L for Locket
M for Methionine
N for Nacket
O for Oligocene
P for Packet
Q for Quinoline
R for Race
S for Sialin
T for Tase
U for Ubiquitin
V for Vase
W for Wyosine
X for Xerox
Y for Y are you still readin’
Z for Zootoxin

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Editor-in-Chief

Antarctica Daily

Diabetic Man sues Sugar Cubes

14 March 2018

An year in Jail would be minimum. Also, there is a fine fine of Ten Thousand Dollars to be paid. While, half a million dollar of compensation was paid to the Sugar Cube.

Yep, the tables have turned. The reason the diabetic man had sued the sugar cube has backfired. And the man is in trouble.

His fasting blood glucose was 1000 mg/dl and his post prandial was 2000 mg/dl. Theoretically, he should have been dead. But practically, he was suing the sugar.

His claim was simple. Sugar is silent killer and its cube is no different. Hence, it must pay all the hospital bills needed to keep him fit. With this logic, he sued it.

But, an investigation was made as soon as the claim was made. And LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide) was found in the sugarcube . The cube was found in a jar. The jar was found in his home. He was, therefore, arrested for taking hallucinogens.

He blamed some drug dealer named Maganlal Meghraj for supplying him these cubes. Yep, THESE CUBES. Police raided his house to justify the use of the plural. After 10 minutes, they discovered the other 4999 LSD cubes hidden safely in his home.

He was prosecuted. His punishment is described in the first paragraph…

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Flight Cancelled mid air, Passengers thrown off

13 March 2018

And we call ourselves humans? It was surely the worst display of inhumanity as passengers of flight #404 were thrown off the board, midflight. As you might have guessed, those passengers were not found anymore.

The flight was scheduled for take off at 61 past 10 or 1 past 11. But due to a quick arrival from the previous destination, the flight was boarded early and took off 15 minutes prior to the official departure.

All this happened without notifying the airport officials. The captain and the cabin crew considered themselves self sufficient and started the boarding procedures secretly from an unknown gate.

The 300+ passengers were delighted at the early take off as they all were punctual and hence enjoyed timely stuff, the earlier the better.

At the time of official take off, the flight was not spotted near any gate as it was already cruising at an altitude of 30k feet, 100 Kilometers away. Hence it was cancelled by the flight company. They were ensured by the air traffic controllers that they had safely guided the flight to take off early and hence there was no loss of property .

But the captain had forgotten his suit case at the airport. Hence, he rerouted the flight and flew back towards the airport. The air traffic controller told them that they could not land, as the flight was cancelled and the flight was officially thought to be on the ground and grounded flights cannot land.

This angered the captain and he took the flight to a great height and precisely pushed off each passenger, so that they would land exactly on the airport roof and then can reboard the flight after the captain retouches down and cancels the cancellation to retakeoff.

Sadly, the passengers who were dropped from the flight, did not land upon the Earth and some claim that they might have even rose higher. They had probably, gone with the wind and landed elsewhere.

After landing forcibly, the captain crashed into a flight that was taking off. Somehow, he managed to escape the wreckage and started searching for his suitcase. But even after hours of searching, he still could not locate it.

Ultimately, the air crash investigators notified him that the suitcase was on board all the time but was now reduced to ashes, thanks to the air crash.

The captain was arrested for misplacing 300+ people and destroying about a billion dollar worth of property.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Driving License is now Mandatory for buying Toy Cars

9 March 2018

If you have failed your driving tests then you have failed the opportunity to make a child smile. A child smiles when a toy car is gifted. But you can’t buy if you don’t have a driving license. We will answer your burning question, namely, “Why the Hell?”, in this article.

2 days ago, a man who had failed 184,839,029 driving tests bought a Ferrari from a toy shop. But, on his way back home, the remote went out of control and the toy car directly hit another car’s tyre and was run over, destroying the tyre that it did strike in the first place.

After this incident, people unanimously voted against the buying of cars, even if it is just a toy, by inexperienced drivers. Immediately, the stock price of toy manufacturing companies fell, the anger of toy manufacturers rose higher but beating everything, the toddlers filled the air with exhilarating laughter, which was later understood to be as their sarcastic protest.

For now, one thing is certain, even if you have the strongest of desires to buy toy cars, you simply can’t, unless you have a driving license, which from my experience, isn’t the easiest of docuemnts to earn.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Amazing Amazon Amazes Amazon

2 February 2018

Two stories are presently ruling the internet now. Both of them are the variants of the same news. One claims, “Amazing Amazon Amazes Amazon” while the other claims “Amazing Amazon Amazes Amazon“. Clearly, the people are confused. Hence, we will clarify the doubt.

A huge Anaconda, who was the resident of Amazon jungle, was planning to engulf an entire tree last week, when it realised that it had no camera to record the video of him doing that. If his video was not uploaded to YouTube his entire hardwork would go unnoticed. Terrified by this thought, he ordered a costly 10k dollars worth video camera. The delivery was scheduled within three to five business minutes as the camera was being sold by an anteater living in the same forest and a delivery guy was luckily loitering around nearby since he had apparently lost his track due to faulty Google Map directions. As soon as the delivery guy knocked on the bark of the tree the anaconda lived in, he slithered down and spiralled around the delivery guy to acknowledge his punctual delivery. Clearly, the Anaconda was amazed and so were every other poisonous insects nearby. Thus, Amazon had amazed the Amazon.

As soon as the snake signed the receipt with its tail, he unboxed the camera while recording the unboxing with the same camera that it was unboxing. Then, he set the camera up on a tree and swallowed the entire tree in a single go. This amazed the Amazon guy. Thus, Amazon had amazed Amazon.

To conclude, we can ensur eyou that bith the viral stories are true and you could believe either or both. However, the sad part is that the Anaconda realized after digesting the tree that he had forgottwn to hit the record button. All his meticulous efforts, as he acknowledged while sobbing, was rendered futile.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com