Windows user downloads Playstore from Appstore in his Kali Linux running Mac using Ubuntu terminal

30 February, 0172: We had never imagined that we would ever publish such a heading. It is just downright wrong on so many levels. In fact, calling it just wrong is a viciously wronged act in itself, let alone being just wrong. It is so wrong, that it gives us chills to write that it is indeed right!

Tim Page and Bill Trovalds were two young entrepreneurs. But, we will talk about them, some other time! Instead, let us talk about that famous Windows user. The first weird thing abut this person is that, despite being a Windows user, he used Kali Linux in his Mac. No wonder, cross platform integration was his thing. His Mac, as we later found out was a Big Mac. He was probably the first person to ever use a burger as his PC. Nonetheless, he grew tired of the costly apps of Appstore, which he used to download third party apps in his computer. He was looking for a cheaper alternative, maybe a jailbroken device to install custom apps, but since his device was a PC, he already had root access, and being a man who preferred endurance he ruled out that possibility.

One morning, when the Sun finally set, and darkness set in, and his electricity provider cut his connection for failing to cope up with the tremendous rate at which he paid bills of future months, he decided to download a flashlight app from Appstore. But he found out that out of the few apps that were there, three were paid, six were not compatible with his device and the only one which was left, had extremely poor reviews. But, sitting in the dark and frustrated at his bad luck he became so desperate that he installed that horrible app. He found out that it had a pro version. Which if bought for $130 per month, could also emit X-ray flashes and give him ‘free’ medical checkups along with removing the advertisements and supporting the developer.

This angered him beyond limits. He launched his terminal which by the way, used Ubuntu commands. He typed, “sudo apt-get install any-app-that-helps-me-download-cheap-apps” and another app store window opened in front of his eyes, listing Playstore as the only option.

In a moment of unthinking determination, he installed it, becoming the first Windows user to ever download Playstore from Appstore using Ubuntu terminal in his Kali Linux running Mac.

Thus, he created history, but being a resident of twenty first century as we all are, he deleted it immediately along with all other browsing history, the motive behind which, for an unknown reason, he denied to reveal to us, but probably, according to us, was the abundance of the letter ‘x’ in the URLs of the websites he had supposedly visited!

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Antarctica Daily

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Last and also the Least

30 February, 0168: Mathematician David Gravid Proglottid has made a weird prediction. He has successfully, predicted how long the last human on the Earth will be alive for. And to his surprise, even though that person would be the last on the planet, and is expected to live for not the least amount of time, according the popular proverb, the person will indeed be living for the least amount of time!

He has been unsuccessful in predicting when such a time would come, or whether such a time would ever come or not? But he has been triumphant in calculating that the the last person would live for minus three years. This means that the person would die three years before he or she would really be born.

That has again sparked off controversies concerning whether or not the person will be considered as the last to live, if he dies even before he is born. To this, the mathematician and doomsday calculator Dr Doctor has defended David Gravid Proglottid by stating that, “We do not know that it is a he or a she. Hence even if he dies before he is born, she might not.” Although this has proved that Doctor himself has not understood the calculation properly, this has also instilled in the minds of fear about the destiny of their planet Earth.

Bottomline is however, that the last person will indeed live for the least amount of time.

Antarctica Daily

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

WannaTry Virus plagues the World

30 February, 0167: So, tell me, do you WannaTry? This is the question that has preceded the worst form of disaster in the World for the last few weeks. Irrespective of whether the answer to the above mentioned question was yes or no, the victims had to try what was in their destiny. In the rest of the article, we will define the kind of things the people had to try.

Just like the WannaCry virus, this virus also spreads via networks. But unlike its predecessor, it spreads via real life human networks. This was first started off as a prank by a college student in West Virginia. When he and his friends were enjoying food in a Cafe, he suddenly screamed out ‘WannaTry?’ and dumped two litres of Coke inside the Coffee cup of his friend. She instantly revolted but instead of picking up a fight, she too shouted, ‘WannaTry?’ and dumped five chicken wings in the hottest sauce on the table and then into his milk shake. This trend spread off like Wildfire.

Now everybody in the world is suddenly shouting ‘WannaTry?’ and are dumping a food item into another in a combination, such that any sane person would never have the two of them together.

“The logic behind the prank is that, by asking ‘WannaTry?’ the prankster is actually asking the victim whether he or she wants to try something new!”, is what that Youngster from Virginia told us when we did this WannaTry prank to his entire family.

Nowadays, this prank has become so popular, that it was termed as a virus, for no known reasons.

Antarctica Daily

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

To Walk or To Talk?

30 February, 0166: The world is divided. No one knows the correct answer. Whether should we walk, or talk? Or both? Or none?

Some say, walk before you talk, others say talk before you walk. Some might say walk while you talk while others might say talk while you walk. Even though the last two opinions mean the same thing, the two group of people would still not agree with each other.

This has been a problem on the roads and traffic police has been particularly irritated because of this new dilemma. As a result, many have quoted Robert Lee Frost and have said that when taking a less chosen path, that is the road not taken, we should always walk and while going in the same path, aka the road always taken, we should talk, as loudly and judgementally as we can.

An international Committee for Walk or Talk has been formed with professional walkers and talkers from across the world. They have chosen a walkie talkie as their symbol! All of them are conducting experiments all the time, such as stability and safety of different permutation and combination of different styles of walking and talking. A popular consensus is yet to be reached in this matter.

Antarctica Daily

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

4 comes after 6

30 February, 0165: One, Two, Three, Five, Six, Four, Seven, Eight,….. This is how you should be counting the numbers from now on. MAD (Mathematical Academy of Directors) have confirmed that this way of counting numbers in not only helpful but is also important.

How it is important, is not yet known, but a few facts about its importance can be appreciated very easily. For example, this way we get to count the numbers five and six first. This is very important, for the objects or items in a spreadsheet with serial number five or six as they get dealt with first before four is being dealt with.

This has however, raised several concerns in the mathematical community. Number Seven has clearly stated that it is not friends with the number four and if it is compelled to be a neighbor for the rest of humanity then it will deliberately change its square to 64 and its cube to 512, both of which are private property of eight. In return Eight has claimed that it might leave the entire number system if its irritatingly lucky neighbor seven, encroaches its higher powers.

Because of all these issues the maths world has been getting filled with dirty politics since the last week. As of now, 4 still comes after 3, but very soon, it might come after 6!

Antarctica Daily

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

 

Costliest Book Ever

30 February, 0164: No doubts anymore. The all new Biblioking is indeed the costliest book. It has been priced at about a trillion dollars. Here are some of the features of the book:

  • Every page of this book is an iPad. From the first one to the sixth generation zPad, every one has been included in the making of this book.
  • This book can be included in every genre in the library. It has stories which are simultaneously comedies, tragedies, romances, biographies and descriptions, both fictional and non fictional.
  • This book has a poem which is so long, that to complete it a human being has to be alive for at least a thousand years, reading a thousand pages in one thousandth of a second.
  • The book can be used as a football, baseball, basketball and also a cricket ball.
  • The book can cook food for itself as well as for you.
  • The book knows everything, you can ask it what Google does not know, and it can give you a thousand examples of the same.
  • The book is known to emotionally blackmail anyone who does not buy the book.
  • This book has been sold for over a trillion times, despite costing a hefty trillion dollars.
  • This book was written by itself.

Antarctica Daily

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Silent Songs Silences Singers

30 February, 0163: They were about to call the doctors, because it felt like that their ears were not functioning. But, after an hour long self diagnosis, it turned out that it was not their ear that could not hear, but it was the song that was silent. They, by the way, were other singers. The ones who do not take pride in singing silent songs.

This new trend has flooded the market. Singers from all walks of life have started to sing silently. Their moto is, “Our song helps you listen to the natural world.” It all started when a horrible singer was being booed away from the stage. He suddenly stopped singing and started to only move his lips. His singing was so bad, that new silent version seemed to be like heaven.

It was from then that this trend caught on. Nowadays, even the top singers have started to sing silently. Few others have taken this one step further and made blank music videos to accompany their silent wonder.

This has helped the world in several weird ways, however. For example, the net consumption has been reduced worldwide as it requires less data to transfer blank music videos from the server to the client. Storage problems has also been eliminated. Best of all, the number of ear and eye problems have dropped appreciably.

Antarctica Daily

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay