25 April 2018
“I expected a 200% vote, 110% is really low.”
Antarctica President Mr Pen Guin said the above statement. This is indicative of not only how high his expectations were but it questions the very basic concepts of democratic elections. In no other country has the voter turnout ever been so high as in Antarctica. Last week, in the General Elections, we experienced a 200% voters turnout. This is why, the hardworking President and the sole candidate expected to get all the votes, but sadly he missed out on 90% of the votes, although he still managed a total of 110%. Mathematicians have objected to this method of counting of votes but had to accept it after realizing that there is no other way to express the correct facts.
But it is still unknown who exactly got the other 90% of the votes, since there was nobody else competing. To investigate the matter we sent journalists to every nook and corner of Antarctica. Within a microsecond all of them mailed back the solution to this problem, simultaneously. The other votes were casted in favour of a president from a parallel universe.
Now Mr Pen Guin was so disgusted by this that he decided to impeach himself and instead make a penguin the president. This way there would be no need to change the official reports as Penguin would replace Pen Guin, but at the same time he also made himself the Vice President so that he can give advices to the novice penguin.
On the first day of their office, a news surfaced that the vice president was fired. It took us minutes to understand whether he was fired that is, shot or fired that is, sacked. We learnt that he was still alive, which did not answer the question directly, but we assumed that we was fired, that is sacked.
There was only one who could have sacked the Vice President. And it was the President himself, I mean itself. Soon, we got reports proving that Penguin has sacked Vice President Pen Guin. We had no idea why!
Another revelation came within an hour which left us all speechless. That presidential candidate from the parallel universe was actually a penguin. The Penguin. The President Penguin.
We were astonished at how someone with 90% votes can end up winning an election with 200% voters turnout. However, the Parallel President Penguin was jailed and Pen Guin resumed his term. But, being still depressed, he impeached himself again! Now we will have to reconduct the elections again. And all of this, because of that Penguin.