Antarctic President Impeaches Himself after getting 110% Votes

25 April 2018

“I expected a 200% vote, 110% is really low.”

Antarctica President Mr Pen Guin said the above statement. This is indicative of not only how high his expectations were but it questions the very basic concepts of democratic elections. In no other country has the voter turnout ever been so high as in Antarctica. Last week, in the General Elections, we experienced a 200% voters turnout. This is why, the hardworking President and the sole candidate expected to get all the votes, but sadly he missed out on 90% of the votes, although he still managed a total of 110%. Mathematicians have objected to this method of counting of votes but had to accept it after realizing that there is no other way to express the correct facts.

But it is still unknown who exactly got the other 90% of the votes, since there was nobody else competing. To investigate the matter we sent journalists to every nook and corner of Antarctica. Within a microsecond all of them mailed back the solution to this problem, simultaneously. The other votes were casted in favour of a president from a parallel universe.

Now Mr Pen Guin was so disgusted by this that he decided to impeach himself and instead make a penguin the president. This way there would be no need to change the official reports as Penguin would replace Pen Guin, but at the same time he also made himself the Vice President so that he can give advices to the novice penguin.

On the first day of their office, a news surfaced that the vice president was fired. It took us minutes to understand whether he was fired that is, shot or fired that is, sacked. We learnt that he was still alive, which did not answer the question directly, but we assumed that we was fired, that is sacked.

There was only one who could have sacked the Vice President. And it was the President himself, I mean itself. Soon, we got reports proving that Penguin has sacked Vice President Pen Guin. We had no idea why!

Another revelation came within an hour which left us all speechless. That presidential candidate from the parallel universe was actually a penguin. The Penguin. The President Penguin.

We were astonished at how someone with 90% votes can end up winning an election with 200% voters turnout. However, the Parallel President Penguin was jailed and Pen Guin resumed his term. But, being still depressed, he impeached himself again! Now we will have to reconduct the elections again. And all of this, because of that Penguin.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

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Driving License is now Mandatory for buying Toy Cars

9 March 2018

If you have failed your driving tests then you have failed the opportunity to make a child smile. A child smiles when a toy car is gifted. But you can’t buy if you don’t have a driving license. We will answer your burning question, namely, “Why the Hell?”, in this article.

2 days ago, a man who had failed 184,839,029 driving tests bought a Ferrari from a toy shop. But, on his way back home, the remote went out of control and the toy car directly hit another car’s tyre and was run over, destroying the tyre that it did strike in the first place.

After this incident, people unanimously voted against the buying of cars, even if it is just a toy, by inexperienced drivers. Immediately, the stock price of toy manufacturing companies fell, the anger of toy manufacturers rose higher but beating everything, the toddlers filled the air with exhilarating laughter, which was later understood to be as their sarcastic protest.

For now, one thing is certain, even if you have the strongest of desires to buy toy cars, you simply can’t, unless you have a driving license, which from my experience, isn’t the easiest of docuemnts to earn.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

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You Won’t Remember This After 5 Minutes

5 February 2018

Human brain can remember a lot of information for a long amount of time. Other than the time we take a test or try to impress a person, our brain can easily be considered to be the best computer, one has ever used.

However, it is proven by scientists that whenever we read a specific set of sentences, we tend to forget whatever we had learnt recently. No matter how essential for us it was to remember what we had learnt, we will undoubtedly forget it within 5 minutes, provided we utter a strange sequence of sentences, loudly. At the end of this article you will find five of such sentences.

But first let us give you something to remember, so that you can forget it. Read the following 5 sentences.

Antarctica is the Southernmost continent. Antarctica is inhabited by penguins. Penguins are more intelligent than humans. Penguins will take over the world. Be very afraid of penguins.

Now, repeat these sentences for 5 times loudly yet silently. Then repeat it once again after 5 minutes and when you do so, you will realise that these sentences which you wanted to remember, to forget, are the sentences which will make you forget what you remember.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

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  • If you like our facebook page, the Antarctic penguins will start liking you🐧🇦🇶💖

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IIT Aspirant files PIL against IPL to introduce Negative Marking

30 February, 0150: Equality is the basis of Democracy. We learnt it. He applied it!

He‘ refers to an unnamed IIT aspirant from Mumbai, India. His belief is that if IIT Aspirants get negative marking for wrong answers in the JEE Exam, then the Cricket teams should get Negative marks if they lose the match. The idea has won followers over many social media platforms.

As you can see, His facebook post was liked by more than half the human population within only 9 milli seconds! Even on Twitter he was the boss…

Fake iPhone Text Generator iOS

We managed to get a screenshot within nanoseconds of Him Tweeting this. But in the next 4.5 microsecond his tweet became the most tweeted pic ever! His account became the most followed account ever and He received at least a trillion replies.

Among his other ideas, was that, IPL teams can choose to play which game they like. Therefore they may attempt and play only the games they want to and no points will be deducted. Also he asked for increase in the number of games to 90 for the perfect point of 360 as he demanded +4 for every win and -1 for every loss. Plus, he added that every game should be completed within 3 hours. Players will be vigorously checked before entry into stadium and no bluetooth communication devices will be allowed. Players can wear only loose fitting clothes like Track suits. Also they are not allowed to bring their own bats and balls and protective equipments and they will be supplied by the stadium authority.

With such immense success in spreading the word to make life harder for cricketers, we believe that his initiative will surely succeed in succeeding and hence introduce negative marking in a cricket league. His PIL has been supported by everybody in this galaxy including the IPL cricketers themselves!

PS: Another story by such an unknown “HIM”.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
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Mars turns Blue, after Casey Neistat Ends the Vlog

30 February, 0134: Why is Casey Neistat ending his daily vlogs? Answer is clearly stated in his “The Final Episode” here. Although his fans on Earth are quite shocked by the sudden decision, the Martians are having an even worse time.

Casey Neistat with His Weapon

Did you know why YouTube is Red? Because, half of its fan base is on mars. Although the scientists have not yet been able identify appreciable life form reigning the planet Mars, more than half of the YouTube traffic could be traced to the users in Mars. It turns out that, about 89 Million martians subscribed to Casey’s Channel (2 Million more than PewDiePie) on the YouTube Mars. It is clearly understandable from such huge figures that the Martians simply loved his daily Vlogs, which seemed to be a recreation for the martians out of their busy Marsly schedule.

 

Mars Turning Blue.

Our reporters have estimated that, all 89 Million Subscribers simultaneously started weeping a bluish fluid which has already flooded the entire planet and have changed the Red Planet into the Blue one (No Political Puns intended!).

The scientists have confirmed that this martian tear is habitable and the sudden flood will tremendously help mankind reach out and colonise Mars. The scientists started the new #thankyoucasey to Thank him for his immense contribution for us. Last but not the least, all of us from Antarctica Daily would like to thank Casey for his entertaining vlogs, exemplary personality and would be waiting for his future videos. 🙂

BTW, Just Search PewDiePie on Google! He underwent plastic surgery!

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: Our Simple yet Elegant Website

World’s LONGEST Rally goes Completely Unnoticed after Everyone Participates in it

30 February, 0091: This is surely the greatest news of the century as no on other occasion ever before has“no one seen the involvement of everyone (because there was no one to see)”. 7,409,350,272 people who live in this great planet had joined in the WORLD’S GREATEST Rally to inculcate the values of environment friendliness in the mind of Viewers. But at the end everyone turned up at the rally and there was no one left to watch and perceive the meaning of this Great Rally. As no one witnessed the entire rally, it went Hugely Unnoticed.

This also explains to us several important paradoxes of the Universe. For example, is the sun there even though I am not seeing it (but if I would have seen it, I wouldn’t have seen anything else in my entire life). The rally proved that human conciousness and most of the laws of physics are dependent on the reference frame and it also explained the importance of an observer in any experiment.It also proved that even though we didn’t notice things, it still exists. This fact, if probed properly, can challenge the foundation’s of Schrödinger’s theories in Quantum mechanics. No pictures were taken and no evidence of the rally is left. And since no one observed it, they just participated in it, no one could recollect what happened.

And Yes, You too were a pat of it, but you won’t recollect it, as I have already said 🙂

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
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Ruling Party Bans Boycotts as Opposition Boycotts Bans

30 February, 0085: Political situation of Antarctica has been seethed with turmoil as the Ruling and the opposition party have engaged in the fight of the century, after striving towards respective idealistic views on how Antarctica should be ruled, keeping in mind the interest of humans and penguins.

Ruling Party clearly stated in their press conference their view on Banning Boycotts as it proves to be a huge economic loss for the nation. Opposition instead seemed happy in Boycotting Bans as doing so the economy can prosper further as it opens a greater variety of legally approved things to the common man (or penguin).

The general public,and penguins, however, declared that they will be the happiest to “Ban Bans” and “Boycott Boycotts”. It is decided that very soon a meeting will be called in which the ruling party, the opposition, the general pubic and penguins will cast their votes in favour of Bans and Boycotts.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
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