Lizards demand Ownership Rights over Their Lost Tail


30 February, 0119: Human beings are well aware of their rights. Now is the time the reptiles become so. In an unassuming protest lead by Hemidactylus, the lizards, snakes, crocodiles and dinosaurs have confirmed what their intention is regarding a tail which they have lost in the process of Caudal Autotomy.

 

This guy had to grow it all!

It is well known that when chased by a predator, the lizards opt to lose their tail behind for deflecting the predator and saving their precious life in the process. A study has found out that they often return and attach back the same tail if the original body part has not already been swept away by irritatingly conscious OCD  struck human beings. For those who find back their tail, life is merry and jolly, provided that the widespread use of adhesives is rocking the reptilian market. However for those who do not find it back, it requires a postgraduate course on caudal regeneration to grow another functional tai in its place. And given the style statement associated with the Tail in the contemporary lizard fashion, living a month without tailless is eternally mortifying.

That’s why in a Protest the lizards have demanded for the right to Sue the human beings collectively as a race when such a lost tail is truly lost. Fines up to 87 Quadrillion Dollars and jail upto 43 Million Years can be the penalty for sweeping away such a tail.

If you are a human, (which based on the circumstances that you are reading this post is not miraculous) there is nothing to worry. The entire penalty is to be distributed equally among the population. The jail term per head will be 2 days 5 hours 43 minutes and 18.873 seconds approximately, and fine will be distributed using a complex formula by which the payable amount is proportional to eight seventh of your fortnightly income.

This demand if approved by the President of Nature (a 43,000 years old Lomatia tasmanica) can have a significant effect on human economy.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: Pun Wit MeMe

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