30 February, 0113: Preventing the prevention of environmental degradation of Earth is a shame as it was the first planet to be discovered by the human beings. Though many of us still doubt the existence of our home planet, Earth, and several others eloquently express so, it is widely accepted that caring for the nature which cares for us is a beneficial and a good deed that would convert Earth into paradise and also seal our place in Paradise. Assuming that you have already guessed how the arguments are progressing I would save a little energy from both my and your side by substantially reducing the mass of this seemingly meaningless introduction!
Here are few modern ALTERNATIVE SOURCES of ENERGY:-
Hatred: Scientists from the University of South Pole have succeeded in channeling the hatred that exists both intra and inter human beings to something useful. (The technology is simple. Irritate a person by repeating the name of one he dislikes and he will use up ATP to add velocity to the glass object near his strong hand which can be used to turn a turbine and generate energy. Scientists have agreed that names of Celebs like Justout Barber can appreciably improve the technique by irritating the person to never-seen-before levels.)
False Promises: This is a pseudo-energy source as it can improve the performance output of the suppressed class by FALSE promises made by their bosses. Many powerful people have already adopted this method to improve productivity at the expense of exploitation.
Tether Earth and Mars: Since the distance between Earth and mars is variable, tethering Earth and Mars can lead to storage of elastic potential energy in the rope used to tie them.
Glucose: Only Applicable for humans who are easily fatigued by their 8-hour 5-week work schedule.
Disproving the LAW OF CONSERVATION OF ENERGY: Researchers and scientists from the Universal University of Universe, have succeeded in finding counterexamples to the Law of Conservation of Energy. According to a study by them, “Human behavior is not in accordance with conservation of Law of Conservation of Energy as they always overreact in simple situations and shut up in demanding situations”. The habit of talking behind the back has considerably aided this research in UN-understable ways!
30 October 0084: The ten seconds statement from FrankEinstein(who is very frank, has physical strength like Frankenstein and mental strength like Einstein) shook the entire world without any noticeable earthquake. Guards were posted all around the Parliaments and other governmentally important buildings all around the Globe. Although the initial few words were enough to prophesize a forthcoming terrorism, the later part seemed to add a surprisingly surprising surprise to the stated statement. Everyone knew it had a deep meaning, but no one dared to ponder what actually was the meaning.
Antarctica Daily posted millions of reporters to work out the meaning of the statement, and ultimately one fine journalist turned up with a satisfactory report. She said, “MURDER means a group of crows and PARLIAMENT means a group of owls. Since a group of crows and owls are never seen together, it is an ornithological oddity.” The Journalist was awarded the No Bell prize in Journalism as she had no bell in her house.
This was just a small example of how Antarctica Daily is changing the world from Below….
30 February, 0076: Many news channels reported that a live wire electrocuted an entire passenger bus leading to the death of 39 people on board. But all the sources had shared the incomplete news and just according to our reliable promise, we hereby, bring to you the full story regarding what happened in Iceland when THE LIVE WIRE electrocuted the bus.
After a luxury passenger bus left the capital of Reykjavik it was caught in a thunderstorm when a tree was uprooted and it fell on an electric post which in turn fell on another, which in turn fell on another,which in turn fell on another,which in turn fell on another,which in turn fell on another,which in turn fell on another,which in turn fell on another,which in turn fell on another, and the next one slammed on to the bus while the electric wires radiating our of the post electrocuted the entire passenger and literally toasted all the passengers within with utmost efficiency of an Eco friendly toaster. However it was later investigated out that the conductor of the bus did not die in the disastrous disaster. He somehow managed to escape out of the eager electrical currents excited to electrocute any human in its circuit. On a little more intense investigation done by the reporters of our newspaper we found out that the conductor was actually known for cheating and earning money in anti-social activities. In other words, he was a BAD CONDUCTOR.
After consulting a few physicists we were confirmed that he was such a bad conductor that even he did not conduct 1000000000 volts of current. We would like to narrate this story again anad again to stress upon the fact that Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining and “Bad is actually Good.”(when it comes to electrodynamics).