Pizza from Giza


5 April 2018

And the flight landed now,
All passengers said wow,
As they felt the cool breeze,
Before tumbling upon cheese.
Cheese was spread upon the bread,
That connected like a thread,
The flavours all savoury,
Relieving everyone’s worry.
Took a bite before they stepped,
In their mind an image shaped,
Of a topping cooked golden,
On the cheese that was molten.
Soon they knew who was boss,
When they smelled the spicy sauce,
All other tastes subsided,
And memories were made.
This is why we all travel,
From lands of snow to that of gravel,
Just to eat the native food,
Which is always best and not just good.
But suddenly one guy screamed,
Their euphoria dimmed,
They realised that a cheese pizza,
Was the best in the town of Giza.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

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I Touched Something Weird


3 April 2018

I was sitting on the grass,
Till around me it was dark,
Suddenly my friend made a fuss,
Pointing at the park.
Not just my friend, dogs were too,
Fiercely started to bark,
And below the sky that was dark blue,
Clouds started to lurk.

At this moment I started to care,
For I thought it was a storm,
I had to run but my feet were bare,
Unlike the social norm.
I had left my shoes back at my room,
After smashing a red worm,
Making loudly a scary boom,
On the floor of our own dorm.

My friend came back fast along with me,
And right there on our wooden stool,
A whitish dense fluid it must be,
Was seen and looked like drool.
Looked dirty which as soon as I cleared,
Pasted fingers to my napkin’s wool,
I knew I had touched something weird,
That was a prank for April Fool.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Editor in Chief

Antarctica Daily

153 countries have Declared Pranks to be Illegal


2 April 2018

Sometimes the fun crosses limits. Yesterday, on 1st of April, Eighty Thousand people were jailed for pranking their friends, families and colleagues. 153 countries have signed an unanimous bill to end this destructive tradition by declaring the pranks to be illegal.

If you had pulled off any prank, then be careful, you are at a risk of getting arrested. Although, as long as no one reveals it to the concerned authority, no action would be taken, there are ways in which you could still land in trouble.

  • The PPO (Prank Protection Organisation) will conduct quick, anonymous surveys among all of us in an attempt to discover who had pulled a prank yesterday.
  • CCTV footage will be analysed for detection of pranks.
  • Heavy fines could be imposed on the ones who had pranked others.
  • Even jail terms are being served by some unfortunate pranksters.

If you had pulled off any prank yesterday, then kindly send a letter to the person on whom you had pulled it. Request the person to not disclose your deed to any official authority. Do not use straightforward language in the letter or else, that itself might give you away. You should symbolically lure the people you pranked into signing the non disclosure agreement.

Please do not prank anybody from now on, as since yesterday it has become Illegal.

PLEASE, SHARE THIS ARTICLE TO WARN YOUR FRIENDS AND PROVE YOUR INNOCENCE.

In the interest of public,

Antarctica Daily

An Apple that was Orange


1 April 2018

It was end of december,
In holidays was my cook,
So I searched for random recipes,
On my 13 inch Macbook.

Found a thousand things to cook right now,
My eyes were opened broad,
I said ‘Hey Siri’ help me out,
From the inside of Homepod.

Siri said she didn’t know,
In an irritated tone,
Right at that moment ringed out loud,
My new space grey iPhone.

My friend had called and invited me,
But for no reason as such,
To a location I did not know,
So I wore my apple Watch.

Lived in the city for a long time,
Not knowing places makes me sad,
But who cares? In my backpack,
With the Maps is Pro iPad.

After returning to my home that night,
To the kitchen I turned back,
Ordered a pizza from a shop and,
Saw a video on iMac.

Rang a doorbell half hour later,
I opened and gave a nod,
In front of me was standing Steve Jobs,
Listening songs from his iPod.

I wasn’t scared although I should be,
Since his presence there was strange,
What was stranger was held in his hand,
An apple that was orange!

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Editor in Chief

Antarctica Daily

Motion preventing Lotion cures Notion inducing Potion


31 March 2018

Revolution was beckoned,

Awareness was reckoned,

All because the masses,

Had changed their Notion.

It was malicious fluid,

Made from dark ink of a squid,

The reason of the sudden change,

Was actually a Potion.

It simply shook hard the bed rock,

To livelihood caused a block,

Entire world was locked in washroom,

Experiencing a Motion.

Sitting in there they got tanned,

Their motion also got banned,

Entire movement was just a waste,

Now they are applying Lotion.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Editor in Chief

Antarctica Daily

How to make ‘it’ look easy?


30 March 2018

It can be anything. Anything can be made to look easy. Simply follow what follows:

  • Just don’t do it: We don’t usually do easy things, hence by not doing a difficult thing, we can make the world think that we find it easy.
  • Repeat that ‘it’ is easy: Keep on repeating until people around you know by heart, that you can do ‘it’ pretty easily.
  • Multitask: While doing a difficult thing, try to multitask, so that if you are unsuccessful in your endeavour, you can blame that other task you were doing.
  • Blame an imaginary human: You could blamed someone real. But that way, the truth might surface as soon as that person was enquired of. So, make up a fictional character and blame your best.
  • Forget often: First, forget to do ‘it’, where ‘it’ is an important task. Then assert that you have simply forgotten and don’t do ‘it’ ever again. This works better with ones with deadlines.
  • Invest in future: Relax like a boss, and when asked why you are so jobless, reply that you are investing in the future.
  • Divide and Rule: Divide ‘it’ up into several parts. Do the easy parts, ignore the difficult ones. Simple.

If you follow all these perfectly, you can make any task look easy!

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Editor in Chief

Antarctica Daily

The Mid-air Pee Spree


29 March 2018

Most of what is published on this site is, well, fiction. But this isn’t. It is based on a very true incident. That happened yesterday.

I was flying between two cities. And as always, I had booked an aisle seat in row 23. It was an Airbus A320. The old model. The aisle seat on my right side wasn’t much far away. On my left was a grandpa and a grandma. Occupying the three seats in the right half of the row, was a family of three with a baby on lap and a lone wolf, who I fancied, might be a serial killer.

Right when the cabin crew decided to serve the food, the will to micturate universally presumed. The Grandma on my left asked me to “move for a second”, since she wanted to use the washroom. I got up. But the food trolley was a row behind. I advanced three rows and stood like a statue. I could have gone farther, but the other food trolley was right there. Now, the grandma walked out. Pushed the other trolley back to where only cabin crews reign and before I could get back in, the baby from the opposite row vomited up some, what seemed to be, milk. Seated behind my row, was a young woman, who out of motherly instincts, jumped up to care for the baby which was already on its mother’s lap. The rear trolley too, rolled back in, guided by a cabin crew virtually locking me again in the three row gap. But, the grandma was back. So, the trolley had to again go back, along with granny, and let the granny overtake and again travel back in, in a time frame, which I could not utilise to get back to my seat, as the granny was trying to cross over my aisle seat to hers. I thought of asking the trolley to move a little back and get back in, so I did and I was seated, right when I noticed the wetness of my seat. The baby had ensured to wet my chair with the throw up right from its lap seat. I jumped up but could not get out. The front trolley which had advanced backwards, blocked me. Suddenly, a man two rows behind me decided to use the washroom. Two rows forward, another woman was on her way to the rear toilets too. So, the front trolley had to move back and pushed the back trolley and the back trolley could not move because that man behind was on his way and walking slowly. So, I half stood there in my seat, with a stagnant aisle right when the grandpa to my extreme left revealed his urge to hit the restroom, threatening to make his seat one, should I not let him move out, which obviously, I could not. The situation was finally solved ten minutes before touchdown and by then, I had walked the aisle up to the cockpit, forced my way in and had started debating with the captain about who was the best footballer, Messi or Ronaldo, although we both knew, the answer was Torres!

I have never jumped off a plane. But had there been an open door, I would have yesterday.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Editor in Chief

Antarctica Daily