29 March 2018
Most of what is published on this site is, well, fiction. But this isn’t. It is based on a very true incident. That happened yesterday.
I was flying between two cities. And as always, I had booked an aisle seat in row 23. It was an Airbus A320. The old model. The aisle seat on my right side wasn’t much far away. On my left was a grandpa and a grandma. Occupying the three seats in the right half of the row, was a family of three with a baby on lap and a lone wolf, who I fancied, might be a serial killer.
Right when the cabin crew decided to serve the food, the will to micturate universally presumed. The Grandma on my left asked me to “move for a second”, since she wanted to use the washroom. I got up. But the food trolley was a row behind. I advanced three rows and stood like a statue. I could have gone farther, but the other food trolley was right there. Now, the grandma walked out. Pushed the other trolley back to where only cabin crews reign and before I could get back in, the baby from the opposite row vomited up some, what seemed to be, milk. Seated behind my row, was a young woman, who out of motherly instincts, jumped up to care for the baby which was already on its mother’s lap. The rear trolley too, rolled back in, guided by a cabin crew virtually locking me again in the three row gap. But, the grandma was back. So, the trolley had to again go back, along with granny, and let the granny overtake and again travel back in, in a time frame, which I could not utilise to get back to my seat, as the granny was trying to cross over my aisle seat to hers. I thought of asking the trolley to move a little back and get back in, so I did and I was seated, right when I noticed the wetness of my seat. The baby had ensured to wet my chair with the throw up right from its lap seat. I jumped up but could not get out. The front trolley which had advanced backwards, blocked me. Suddenly, a man two rows behind me decided to use the washroom. Two rows forward, another woman was on her way to the rear toilets too. So, the front trolley had to move back and pushed the back trolley and the back trolley could not move because that man behind was on his way and walking slowly. So, I half stood there in my seat, with a stagnant aisle right when the grandpa to my extreme left revealed his urge to hit the restroom, threatening to make his seat one, should I not let him move out, which obviously, I could not. The situation was finally solved ten minutes before touchdown and by then, I had walked the aisle up to the cockpit, forced my way in and had started debating with the captain about who was the best footballer, Messi or Ronaldo, although we both knew, the answer was Torres!
I have never jumped off a plane. But had there been an open door, I would have yesterday.
Editor in Chief