Top 10 Highest Paying Jobs

4 April 2018

We will count down from the bottom to the top of the list as we go from top to the bottom of the page.

We have ranked the jobs on the basis of, how much time it takes for a person of that job to earn a Billion Dollars, which BTW, is less than the pocket money of every Antarctic College Kid.

10. Dreamer Blogger: (10 months) A blogger is someone who blogs. A dreamer is someone who dreams. A dreamer blogger is some freak, who blogs not about his dreams, but while he dreams!

9. Google Searcher: (9 months 14 days) A google searcher searches about Google on Google from different browsers and countries and documents whether any other search result surpasses Google’s rank in the Google search list.

8. Turnover [pronounced as Turn-offer]: (7 Months) We often forget to turn off several things like the lights and fans of our living room when we go out. It is the job of turnovers to sneak into your house with minimal interference and turn off those things. They are also known for closing the tabs of adult websites from our browsers, when we are far away but children are near.

7. New Yorker: (4 months) The job is self descriptive. Live in New York and earn.

6. Hermione Granger: (6 weeks) Wizards and Witches often do the Wingardium Leviosa spell incorrectly. It is the task of Grangers to say, “It’s not LeviOsa, it’s LevioSA!”

5. Screw Driver: (10 days) Billions and Trillions of screws are made everyday. But they should be shipped to the assembly line for their usage. The Screw Drivers drive the screws to their destination. They earn 0.001 dollars for each screw and hence they accumulate a Billion dollars for every Trillion screws. But they are still unhappy, as they are waiting for the first line of this paragraph to read, “Billions of Trillions of…”.

4. Temperature [also called Temperator]: (3 days) Their job is to check the Global warming and convince people of climate change. It is clearly one of the most strenuous jobs in the list.

3. Counter: (43 hours) Their job is to count numbers from their birth to their death, to check whether they can count till infinity. They are earning some serious money despite failing to reach infinity in every lifetime. They get 500 dollars for every thousand numbers. So, in 43 hours they count upto about 2 Million and earn a Billion bucks or a Million Grands.

2. Blushing Flusher: (5 minutes to 2 hours) Weirdest job on the list. Their objective is to defecate in every public washroom only for the purpose of flushing and informing the government about the experience and whether it made them blush with embarrassment. They, BTW, have to spend a lot of money and time, which is again, money, after restaurant bills for continuous uninterrupted bowel movement.

1. Editor in Chief of Antarctica Daily: (1 second) Yep, I am rich. Technically. However, the sad part is that despite earning on paper, the important rectangular papers, also called notes or bills, are never really transferred to my bank account. And that really depresses me and makes me wanna do things I never ever would have otherwise dreamt of doing. Like trying out another job on this list. But, then again, I am the only Editor in Chief of Antarctica Daily and I am proud!

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Editor in Chief

Antarctica Daily

(The Featured image is taken from HERE)

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Snapchat CEO to Handover free Pepsi to every Indian

30 February, 0148: It is clear that distributing Pepsi can handle any magnitude of protest. Even if you allegedly end up calling the 7th richest country of the world, where the 10th richest person still has double your net worth – POOR, it is quite evident from the latest Pepsi ad that Handing over free Pepsi can handle any such backlash due to the consequence of your apparently nonsensical actions.

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Snapchat handing over Pepsi

Hence, the CEO of snapchat has utilised this special trick to control the anger of the Indians, after potentially insulting the Ancient world Golden Bird, the largest democracy and one of the fastest growing economy which is also a subcontinent with rich heritage and history. We still do not have any news about the response of the angered Indians to this Free Pepsi Handover Scheme.

Antarctica Daily Team
Website: Our Simple yet Elegant Website and Our Not So Simple Yet Elegant Website

Confirmed: “MONEY undergoes MITOSIS”

30 February, 0136: No more worries! Scientists have found out the solution to every single problem that can ever boast itself to be problematic enough, to be a problematic problem. It is not everyday that we witness some scientist running right through the middle of the National Highways, shouting out EUREKA, completely unmindful of his invisible clothes which if were transparent, were obscene and if were opaque, were absent! Many viewers from London, who exactly saw that last Wednesday, were suddenly captured by nostalgia, as the lively image of Greek Scientist Archimedes and the lively videos of Roman Numeral 30 flooded the minds of the onlookers.

 

 

Money double, No trouble!

 

However, instead of shouting out Eureka, the running scientist whose name was later confirmed to be Dr Tremendous Enigma, was blurting out, “My Tall Sis” or something similar, as reported by an extremely unscientific observer. Had the observer been any more scientific, it would not have been not much of a Pre-frontal Cortex  Scratching Job to appreciate the fact that all Dr Enigma was screaming about was MITOSIS.

MONEYTOSIS: A trick to double the money you had…

But we can not blame the Doc, neither can anyone, who has been intrigued by the title of this post, as he clearly had scientifically proven that Money CAN undergo MITOSIS! What that means is that if you treat money i.e. notes or bills or coins with a specific enzyme and then submerge it into a specific nutrient medium at a specific temperature, then within a specific time your money will double itself. If you had a Dollar Bill, you will end up with 2 bills and if you had 5839 pounds, you will end up with 5839 pounds*2=11678 Pounds!

Dr Enigma was probably running towards the Royal Society of London, but his run ended on a shocking note when a Bugatti Veyron run him over. Police have not been able to identify the Veyron Driver as the car was so fast that it was apparently moving at a speed a little faster than that of light, and before light photons could strike the car and return to the eyes of the observer, the car had escaped!

Presently, Dr Enigma’s house is being searched, where he had secretly hid the secret to secretly double his money. As a heartbreaking truth, we are regretting to state that though it is confirmed that money can double all by itself, we have probably lost the recipe to do so. 😦

 Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: Our Simple yet Elegant Website

Richest man goes bankrupt after buying the only Calculator which can calculate his Net Worth

30 February, 0120: Lil Bets had the worst nightmare amidst his Dream. After being nominated by all the leading Net Worth Calculator Magazines his confidence was hiked to the level beyond what could be called a safe level of confidence, and he immediately made an utterly bewildering bid in an auction.

To recheck whether the net worth calculated by the magazines was accurate he wished for a calculator smart enough that can calculate his real net worth. According to our estimates it was (yes, WAS as it is no more) the following:

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The number is HUGE and by HUGE we mean HUGE!

Any Computer of fathomable technology can not even fathom a fathoming machine which can fathom this sort of a number!

Although, it turned out such a number could be crunched by the microscopic pocket calculator owned by an Indian actor named Rajinikanth!

So the bid was made and the money was paid and it turned out that the price of the calculator was equal to the net worth itself! So the Richest man paid the full amount and as a broke man received the calculator. But he instantly lost it and hence he was officially penniless!

This the saddest story of the  century…… :-((

PS: Rajinikanth donated the money to an alien community who burned the entire money to propel their rocket from Jupiter, their vacation home, where they ran out of fuel, to Andromeda Galaxy!

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: Simple yet Elegant Website

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