30 February, 0132: Water is life. The more the water, greater is the liveliness. More the liveliness, more is the development of the area. Hence, waterlogging is THE definition of development and prosperity.
After per capita income and GDP were found to be approximate measures of development, the social scientists were busy in the search of a new parameter that would help us accurately define the development of a place. Theoretically speaking, the parameter should be widespread, experienced by everyone and be unbiased towards the specific location concerned. Therefore, Waterlogging was chosen as THAT criteria, as it was experienced by everyone, New Yorkers to Mumbaikars alike.
Waterlogging is supposed to have a directly proportional relation with development as we mentioned earlier. Moreover, the mosquitoes breeding in the stagnant water can add to the biodiversity of the region and the doctors can prosper from the diseases spread by those mosquitoes. Hence, collectively the society will strive towards prosperity. Cars will automatically be washed and you will often get waterlogging holidays, a real mid-week treat. The water will clean your dress without you paying a single penny. You can also shoot amazing sea-side pictures while being at your own neighbourhood. Lastly the cold water will help reduce stress by reducing your body temperature.
This can also help us find efficient scientific remedies for the nagging problem of waterlogging, although the scientists may be more enthusiastic in perpetuating it as the Ultimate measure of Development.
Reported by, Sayan Mondal*
Student of Che Guevara and Paul Dirac
Plays Computer games outdoors
Derived the Schrodinger’s Equation in kindergarten
30 February, 0081: From now on none of your likes will remain unseen as Spark Crackerberg, CEO (Chief Environmental Officer) Fleshbook had introduced the concept of liking the likes!
Now you can like a post and your like can be liked back by the poster, or an impostor or whoever turns out to be liking the fact that your liking the fact that the poster had shared! In turn You can like back the like of the like for your like.
In a press conference on Free Acidics the Flesh Book owner and creator shared the fact that, Now the likes could be liked and in turn could be liked back, it can continue for ever, provided the people keep on liking each other.
Footballers have especially been thrilled by the new change in their new social media platform.
On asking Why? (Actually, Why the Hell? was asked) Cracker told that it will bring people closer and help us build a better world together with ever diminishing disliking and ignorance.
30 February, 0065: Nature has been angered and here are the consequences. No more mango its just bitter gourd.
Last day a group of people from a Sri Lankan village cut the branches of a mango tree which was known to bear the sweetest mango ever and donated them to a group of scientist who offered to manipulate its genes and create more mango trees like that with the payment of a nominal fee. The mango tree clearly declared that cutting branches wasn’t a deal, but people didn’t care. Today morning just as everyone went to the tree to pluck a few fruits, they were socked to see that all the yellow, red mangoes have been replaced with green pale bitter gourds.
This news teaches us that, Greed is the end of all good.😰😥😰:(😱😨
30 February,0021: Often in our history, the greatest societal changes have all propped up from minute phenomenon, which have changed the world and have influenced humanity greatly. Last day’s suicide case of Mr. Anopheles Mosquito was no exception. Our reporters have gathered enough information to conclusively state that the mosquito had been under immense pressure from his workplace and also from the government of India for paying proper blood taxes. Although he was the manager of a blood bank lately it seemed that his wife Mrs. Mosquito had not been able to properly gather enough blood. She was taken to a hospital and was diagnosed with having too much Wuchereria bancrofti in her body. Within few days she had passed away. As Mr. Mosquito took her lifeless body to a graveyard, he was barred from even entering into the premises for his dark chitinous cuticular epidermis. Heart broken and racially insulted he jumped from the top of a building hereby ending his life. As Homo sapiens came to know about this tragedy they immediately prosecuted the bargeman and coroner. Miles long processions were walked and billions of arthropods and primates participated to pray for the honest mosquito for a place in heaven. The central theme of all this was to ensure no more racism takes place. If you haven’t yet heard of the protest then let me request to you: PLEASE STOP RACISM.