The Terrible Teacher


Put simply, it is insanely difficult to put it simply. I have tried in English, French, Spanish and even Python, Java and QBASIC, for all are languages, but I have failed, undeniably miserably, at expressing what I was expected to, upon being asked the question, which though, was strangely metamorphosed into a morbidly labyrinthine piece of literature, was proclaimed to be an integral part of my syllabus, by my teacher, who I have attributed with, the epithet of being terrible, in the Heading of this post. I have known people who are brick walls in accepting any creative answer and I have met people who are sewage pumps in framing questions, but never have I ever, encountered the miserable phenomenon of facing a person, who simultaneously belongs to those two categories.

Five minutes in, and I declared that I could not make any more sense with my sensible answer, than I am doing right now. And then I had to explain why, upon receiving a stimulus. And then I had to explain why I answer rhetorical questions, which after answering, I realised was itself a self-interrogatory rhetorical question! And since then, I have been answering…..

I know not, when I may Stop (breathing, for that is the only way this Viva could end!).

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
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Student Council Promotes GLOBAL WARMING to get extended Summer Holidays


30 February, 0095: In the most Unorthodox, unconventional, unique, naïve, nontraditional, extravagant, meaningless, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious demonstration of all time STUDENT COUNCIL did something, this Sunday, which was never done before. They promoted Global Warming DIRECTLY and LUCIDLY. (Unlike most of us who ceremonially condemn Global Warming but leave the car engine running at signals or ‘forget’ to switch off the light before leaving the room.)

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If you disagree, Contact Student Council

Their reason was too straightforward and valid to be slighted away. The banners read, “Go Global-Warming-ing, Enjoy Summer Holidays.” It was one of the demonstrations in which the adults dreamed to join in but had to console themselves disapproving the motion and in turn secretly contributing towards Global Warming by cutting away a few trees ‘by mistake.’ Students from all over the world and of
all age groups joined in the protest and the exhibition was a plethora of childish demands.
Governments have already called up a debate to decide whether to legalise Global Warming or not.
What do you think should be the solution?
Let us know in the comments….
Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com

To save papers, Exam board announces that NO answer in an exam can exceed 5 words


30 February, 0072: Students have not yet recovered from their shock of ecstatic happiness. The world has rejoiced like never before. What’s even more weirdly queer is that the fear of exams has become a phobia of the past.
                           CLICK HERE

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Teachers however have suddenly been depressed by the erratic change of exam pattern by the exam board. They have openly shared their murderous feeling towards exam board. Not only would this reduce the number of possible question could be asked, it would give students the upper hand as they could ask for explanation for every word they wrote. Meanwhile a physics teacher from the Princesston University asked the exam board to explain how to explain Newtons Universal of Gravitation in 5 words, meanwhile, an English teacher from Oxenford University asked the exam board to write the summary of The Tempest by Shakespeare in 5 words. Exam board, is presently mad with pressure of answering in 5 words, but they said that no matter how hard the situations turn out to be they would try to SAVE PAPER till their last breath.
They have even formulated a law saying, “Answer > 5 = jail” which meant any answer with more than five words could land the ANSWERER in jail.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: http://www.antarcticadaily.weebly.com