Not Sure if I Travelled in Time

6 April 2018

A weird sensation it was. It went away even before I knew what it was. I searched on the net, typing in keywords that associated what I felt with what I fancied it was. Unfortunately, all the searches returned results which were so unrelated to the topic I was initially searching about, that I almost forgot about what was the original sensation I had felt. But living in the information era as we do, I kept on searching further on the new topics only to be lead further and further away from those. In fact, I was getting so far away, so fast that I guessed I might soon get back to one of the topics I had already searched. But that was not the case. Five minutes later, I found myself watching videos on youtube. Ten minutes later, I was publishing this post on WordPress. Twenty minutes later, I was buying a private Jet on amazon and twenty one minutes later, I was closing that browser tab, because neither amazon sold private jets nor I had the means of buying one even if it sold. But thirty minutes later, I was back on Medium writing up a philosophical article. Forty minutes later, I had a weird sensation. It went away before I knew what it was. I tried searching for it on Google, but I could find no words in my vocabulary that matched the feeling. But, the google searche results led me to Youtube about five minutes later and I started watching a video. That was five minutes before, now I am publishing this post on WordPress, but I don’t know why that Publish button is replaced with Update buttontoday!

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

 

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Time Sues Poet for Personifying ‘it’

22 March 2018

This is the story of a poem,
The story of a crime,
Indicative of the sluttish,
Nature of our time.
A poet said time is busy,
Just to match up with the rhyme,
Time took it personally,
Dipped his fame in green slime.
He was blamed of overuse,
Of words along with its misuse,
He was stripped off his profession,
His sufferings were profuse.
He was jailed for one whole year,
And banned from drinking beer,
And because of the last restriction,
He knew his end was near.
He was locked up in a cell,
Was denied a bale,
For how long he was sobbing in there,
No person can tell.
Time, he did personify,
He had the perfect alibi,
If Shakespeare could do it long back,
Why can’t he give it a Try?
Tell me Why?
Should I Cry,
Out of My,
Swollen Eye,
Look at the sky,
It tries to fly,
And that’s why,
It’s lodged so high.
Sky was somewhere near,
And it heard him speaking that,
He knew it was listening and called it,
Hideous Old Brat.
That word with ‘f’, I don’t give it,
‘Cause I know that sky’s the limit,
Hence I used a metaphor,
Wanna jail me for that,
Wanna Wage a War.
The sky said no,
Don’t you fret,
I know who just personified me,
And he is my next target!

P.S. Turns out while writing this poem I have personified both time and sky, hence both of them have sued me, in turn. But I sued them back, with the argument that, the natural elements like them have only personified this assemblage of flesh and bones and neurovasculature and viscera into a living being, whom, I have learned to refer as ‘me’.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

Editor in Chief

Antarctica Daily

 

 

How to Travel in Time?

Travelling in time was considered to be impossible, until world famous scientist Dr Meryl Lee proved to the world that it is not only possible but is also insanely easy.

Here is the summary of the simple technique:

  1. First set up a clock outside a room
  2. Note the time before going into the room
  3. Darken the room by switching off lights
  4. Close your eyes
  5. Take a magnet in your right hand
  6. Take a solenoid in your left hand
  7. Raise the arms in the air
  8. Shake vigorously
  9. Continue for 15 minutes
  10. Now throw away both the solenoid and magnet
  11. Run out of the room at a speed faster than 15kmph
  12. Open your eyes and note the time in the clock
  13. Compare the present time with the initial time (when you had walked in)
  14. If you had followed the steps correctly, you should be more than 15 minutes into future
  15. Before doing the experiment, realise that you cannot go back once you have travelled into future and hence, you might end up wasting 15 minutes of your life or atleast 2 minutes for reading this post.


Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
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Studying 25 Hours a Day is not Enough

Let us talk about studying, by studying the way we talk. We shall conduct our study upon a person who studies a lot. Now since we are studying a person, who studies a lot, then we, ourselves, are also studying a lot. Hence, we can conduct the study on ourselves, itself. So let us study the way we study, to study the way we talk, to answer the question on whether we study enough or not?
First, we will create an imaginary ambience in which we will place our gluteus maximus followed by the rest of our body. After we are seated, we will first check the notifications on Facebook, the unread messages in WhatsApp and the latest video in the YouTube Feed. After half an hour of, “Oh, I just got carried away by this awesome YouTube video.” and a few other conclusive videos we will finally open our book. Facebook, I mean. We will drift through the irrelevant status updates, some strange profile picture updates accompanied with demotivatingly motivational captions and a handful of shared memories for another hour or so, before our self-control kicks in real hard, and for the first time in the last one hour and thirty minutes, which is equivalent to four thousand and eight hundred wasted seconds, we will finally observe our phone leave the warm contact of our palm and fingers, which would be warmer if the smartphone is from China and even warmer, in fact, to the extent of sizzling hot, and an aroma of barbeque, if the phone was the seventh note from a neighbor of China. We submissively, look towards the clock and realize that it shows thirteen past seven in the evening. Superstitious, as we are, we decide to let the time fly by a little more, so that we can start studying from seven thirty, which is a round figure. Twenty minutes of Instagram uploads later, we realize that the clock has once again proved to be treacherous, as the minutes hand was temporarily waiting at seven thirty three. “Eight it will be”, we take a grand oath and we return to upgrade a cannon in Clash of Clans. Right at eight, we emerge victorious from a battle and put our phone aside, only to pick it up five minutes later, thanks to the notification regarding the readiness of your army for another battle! Ultimately at eight thirty, we open our book. Not just any other book, but an e-book. But since we had forgotten to mute the notifications, few minutes later, we find ourselves swearing at the top of our voices, in the group chat named, “Best Friends Forever”.
The clock strikes nine and the ghrelin over secretion overwhelms our desire to study and magnetically pulls us to the dinner table. We feast like there is no tomorrow, and we emerge victorious, yet again. Our happiness, fails to persist however. We suddenly remember that we have a homework to complete. Twenty seven pages are to be written! Our desires alter within a second, and it becomes the prime intention of our life to complete the impending work. Our sole objective of our soul becomes, the submission of the homework tomorrow.
We write till two ‘o’clock in the night and then sleep through the initial lectures of the next day. In the last period, when we were supposed to submit the work, we discover that the teacher is absent, and hence the submission will be postponed till tomorrow!
That day while returning to home, torrential downpour and devastating thunderstorm destroys the notebook you wrote in and that night you redo the entire work all over again.
Hence we observed that, though we did the same homework twice in the last twenty five hours or so, we studied for the cumulative total of three minutes and forty seconds, despite believing firmly in our mind that we were studying all the time. This proves that studying twenty five hours is not enough and you should instead, use a time turner to study at least fifty hours a day!
Best of Luck…

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily

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WARNING: This food causes indigestion even WITHOUT consumption!

30 February, 0123: Beware it might be in your plate. But if it is not in your plate then also, be equally Aware. It can lengthen your medical bill and substantially lengthen your time on the toilet seat, even if you have never seen it, heard of it, let alone touched it, smelt it or even worse tasted it.

The Pharmaceutical companies are perplexed on this latest discovery and have not yet reflected on the possible preventions of indigestions and diarrhea which result due to THE FOOD.

A Recent study has found out that this FOOD, available in North America and Asia, is probably a poisonous fruit that can cause indigestion in the Human Beings even if it is not consumed by the victim. This makes development of drugs, to prevent the symptoms and sufferings, IMPOSSIBLE.

After biologists from around the world have been clueless on how to tackle this problem, physicists have meanwhile suggested two hypotheses explaining how a food can cause INDIGESTION even WITHOUT consumption.

  1. Initially, they blamed it all onto the presence of tachyons inside the fruit. Tachyons are hypothetical particles with imaginary mass, which travel faster than the speed of the light and TRAVELS BACK IN TIME. That could be the reason why this food can have effects even before it is consumed.
  2. Recently, String theorists have even pointed towards quantum entanglement. According to them the food has entangled particles with our bodily atoms and fermions. Any macroscopic interaction of the subatomic particles of the food hence instantly decides the state of existence of the atoms of our body.

No one has any idea what is the real cause or the prevention. Incase you have any query you can let us know down in the comments or HERE.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: Our Simple yet Elegant Website

 

Watch Makers to replace HOUR markings on clock with MONTHS

30 February, 0111: Changes and Chances have two things in common. Firstly, the spelling is almost similar, and secondly, no one can predict when they are coming.

Suddenly , it was published last week by the Watch Makers Society that from now on every watch would be made with the months replacing the hour markings. Therefore most of our watches would look like this:

This measure has been taken based on the hypothesis that we do not appreciate the presence of TIME any more. Hence, let time be a thing of past and date be our present.

Most MNCs’ have already agreed on using months to refer to times rather than hours and minutes. We are not exactly sure, how on Earth will this Change help someone but we are optimistic that with the passage of time we will appreciate the absence of time and have more time for completing our works.

FOR ANY MORE QUERIES, visit THIS WEBPAGE.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay
Editor-in-chief
Antarctica Daily
Website: Pun Wit MeMe