Today’s date is a numerical palindrome. Had every digit in Roman Numerals been a symmetric figure, the left half would have been a mirror image of the right.
Talking about Mirrors, let us teach you how to walk through a mirror and meet your mirror self in the mirror world. It might seem difficult and impossible, or even unpossible if your grammar is bad, at first. However, after banging your head a few times against the mirror you might end up accomplishing it.
Your aim is to end up in mirror world. You can do that by jumping into the mirror, which is difficult, breaking the mirror, which is not recommended, albiet easier or you can climb above the mirror and jump on the other side.
If the mirror is attached to a wall, walk around the wall. If the region on the other side of the wall is your neighbour’s room then do knock before walking in.
After you have done that, remove the obstacle separating you from your initial position. That could be the mirror itself or the wall.
Now enjoy the view, remember, this is the same view your mirror self would have seen had it been standing, where you are now.
If you now hold another mirror in front of your face, you can see the angry faces of your neighbours waiting to kill you for demolishing the wall. If you want to escape, then run. If you don’t however, what’ll happen next will ensure you can relax in the bed for next 6 months, if not, then forever and if not not your bed, then surely in your grave, provided your neighbours don’t demolish that as a revenge!
30 February, 0147: Saving electricity is fundamental to ensure the sustained weight of your purse. So here is our earnest attempt to elongate the shelf life of your notes and bills. Follow what follows and your Net Worth will be appreciably given an unavoidable stimulus to increase the number of lagging zeroes behind the figure.
Sleep in Fridge: Buying an AC is OK. Buying a fridge is OK. Paying the electricity bills for both SIMULTANEOUSLY is surely not OK. So for the sake of your status you can buy both, but for the sake of your bankruptcy status you should use either. Though placing the food items in an AC room is tempting, sleeping in a fridge is, by far, ADVENTUROUS.
Convert your FAN into Generator: Simple. Your fan is run by a motor which is run by electricity. Use its mechanical rotational energy to turn an axle of a generator and feedback the electricity produced to the fan itself. Too bad, you cannot run the fan by the electricity it generates (blame the Second law of Thermodynamics for that) but you can surely cut down on the electricity consumption.
Don’t Watch TV: Just don’t. Please.
Steal the Sun: And you will have enough electricity for the next 5 Billion years. Just buy enough solar panels that will surround the entire solar surface area, or else you might just get a tan without even going to the beach.
Attach a steam turbine proximal to Gluteus Maximus: Given the fact that children read our newspaper, we won’t elaborate on this one.
Use your Anger: If you are angry on your boss or government, just use the amount of heat produced in the swearings and cursings in heating your food. Also anger is contagious, so stay ready with a bowl of food, for the first domino to topple. Make electrifying comments and use it to charge your mobile phone.
Read Antarctica Daily: This way you’ll be able to read the post you are already reading and learn methods to save electricity.
Buy Torpedos: These are chondrichthyes fishes which generate electricity and then you figure out a way to charge your laptop with these things.
Work longer in your office: That way you will use less domestic electricity and pay less demanding bills.
Migrate to a town with no electricity: This is clearly the best trick. Your electricity bill will plummet down to zero instantaneously!
These were voted to be the best methods by the scientists all over the Universe.
30 February, 0145: On YouTube, we come across several videos about chemistry, many of which are about physical chemistry. Out of which, many deal with Equilibrium and out of them many deal with Ionic Equilibrium. If any one plans to be a successful chemist or murderer (as will be explained later) then it is of utmost importance that he understands the phenomenon of Buffering.
Buffer is a chemical solution like our blood which temporarily resists the change in pH. To stop the buffering action we can take the following steps:
Not add the weak acid salt of a strong base to the weak acid.
Not add the weak base salt of a strong acid to the weak base.
We can exploit the Henderson-Hasselbach Equation to further enhance the removal of the buffering action.
This can immensely help chemist in understanding the chemistry of buffers.Also, it can help murderers in killing people as the human blood is a buffer and can resist the changes in pH. Therefore the slightest dose of a poison can kill the victim if the buffering action is removed somehow. The people who would be helped the most are the Chemists who are also murderers!